My lil Tai Family

2011-08-23T20:05:00.002+08:00

Im gonna move my blog to http://trinaljy.onsugar.com/

not confirm if i will blog there from now on as im quite new there and need to get use to it before i officially shift to that blog. but most updates will be updated at that blog! do drop me a msg alright? (:

2011-08-23T11:56:00.002+08:00

HELLO THERE! i bet by now i wouldnt have much readers already.

IMSORRY for de lack of updates but have been busy taking care of that lil imp of mine. and when theres a lil free time i would want to surf de net and do some shopping. HEHE.

Anyway, my ML ends next week and i will be gg back to work for that 1 mth and GOODBYE to Delifrance already. BTH working there already.. SEPTEMBER will be a damn fast mth for me. Filled with lotsa activities!

30th Aug-Hus 23th Birthday
3th Sept-My 21st Bday Party
4th Sept-Shirley's Wedding
9th Sept-My Actual Birthday
11th Sept-Kayler's Swimming Competition
17th Sept-Bestie's 21st Party
22th Sept-Bestie Actual Birthday

and for 1 weekend of sept we would be gg to MBS for a night stay. but we haven come up with de dates as currently all weekends are quite packed with activities.

On a random thought, was whatsapping with a fren recently, and he told me this.
"When you love a person more den de person love you, you would be in a losing end."
-I find this soo true. I dun have confidence in myself ever since i gave birth.. I felt as thou i lose my charm. I dun feel as pretty as I used to, and thou I have a better figure now I still feel I look quite ugly :/ due to stretchmarks.. Im really afraid 1 day I would lose him. All i ever want is to have a happy Family of my own.

2011-07-11T13:25:00.003+08:00

Had some lil fun at Sentosa yesterday. What a fun day where i get to save my ears from the lil boy's crying (but i did miss him very much) damn contradicting. (i know -.-) anyway, went Sentosa with SH and his uni mates. a fun group to be with.

And so we were suppose to meet at 12.30 but somehow change to 1.30pm. SH & myself were suppose to leave de hse at 12.30 but den Kayler wanted milk and so, we gave him his milk before heading out. and by de time we reavhed lakeside it was 1.15pm. :/

Met JiaJun at Lakeside and we trained to vivo. met up with the other ppl and went to get gongcha! We got mackies for brunch tooo. and headed to take de monorail into Sentosa (:

played monkey awhile and it started raining -.- went to find shelter for a rest + express some milky.. after de rain stopped we went back to Siloso and started gg into de waters. ok.. ALL was kenna force in 1 by 1.

After awhile, we got up from de water and headed to change up. Went back to Vivo and i went to get my moisturizer ! Like Finally !! took a train to tanjong pagar for Korean BBQ. its damn shiok lo. De meat very very juicy, place abit warm but its super nice.

Was super tired already thus i wanted to take a cab home. but there were no cab insight ! so i called my dad and ask if he was around the area and lucky me he was and is heading back to jurong to return de cab. and lucky me, his cab does not have any passenger! so SH & myself had a free ride home (:

2011-07-10T11:35:00.004+08:00

Decided to post some photo of de lil prince on my blog. But if you wanna see more photos of him. can head to my fb (: these were taken yesterday before heading out for Swimming session at Nex. Wanted to let him get some massage done but the lil boy was cranky cos he didnt had enough rest and was kindda hungry too. oh well, theres always next time (:

2011-06-28T13:17:00.003+08:00

Shall blog about my birth experience now that i have de time (:

On 20th May 2011, I woke up at 6.30am just to have a good bath before heading to de hospital to induce bb Kayler out. We left de hse at 7am as i have to reach Thomson at 7.30am.

Went into de observation room while hus went to do the admission paperworks. I was soo scared as i dunno what will happen and all. worry alot -.- Doc came at 8.30am and told me i was only 1cm dialated so she inserted de 1st pill for my cervix to open faster. sooo weird lah de feeling when doc insert de pill in. And i tried to sleep while SH watching his movies on de ipad.

I cant rmb what time it was when i was moved to the delivery room. but i continue to sleep as de contraction is coming in already. sibei painful lo. its like menses cramp x 1000000 times. Dr Tan came in at 2pm to burst my waterbag, it hurt alot and my contraction was still there so its like pain at my vaginal + tummy -.-

at about 2.30pm i was told that im only 2cm dilated was super duper sian. cos from 8.30am-2.30pm my cervix only opened 1 cm. sibei shag. and i was thinking if i have to wait another 6 hrs for another 2-3cm i sure bth. so i opted for epidural. De moment de doc gave me that i felt relieve and went straight to bed.. woke up wanting to drink sth hot as i was super cold and was shivering like mad.

not long later Dr Tan came to check me again, and she said i was fully dilated and can prepare to deliver already. but cos de epidural was making me numb so i couldnt feel a thing. SH came back as he went out to take a call from his mum. and den when he came back, i started pushing. within 10mins Kayler was born with the help of de vacuum. pushing part was kindda hard as i cant feel any single thing i just tried to kiak as much as possible.

After everything, finally saw my lil boy and he was crying non stop for 15mins! Dr say he is an angry baby. LOL! and so, de nurse clean him up and SH went to see his height and weight taken while DR Tan stitch me up. Rested awhile and den de nurse send me to my room to rest.

Wasnt in de mood to entertain any1. as i was damn irritated at de fact that i cant move my legs and i felt damn suan on my butt. and when 10pm came. de nurse pushed my boy to me, every1 was looking at him. while me still damn irritated that i cant seem to have any feelings on my legs. LOL. SH stayed back as i was kindda scared being alone basically cos i cant move my legs i felt as thou i was useless ah. so he secretly stayed back cos we were not able to get a single room. ALL de SINGLE ROOM were FULLY BOOKED! >:(

He continue to watch his movie while i went to get some rest. But it was not long and i got woken up by de woman beside me. She kept snoring lah ! somemore is those sibei sibei loud kind. In de end me and sh didnt had a goodnight rest ):

Request for a change to de single room de next day. Friends&Relatives came to visit. When SH came back that night after sending MIL home. he fell sick was vomiting and having diarrhoea de whole night till de next morning. kelian him :( when we returned home he was still sick but despite being sick he still took care of Kayler. I really am glad to have chosen to bring this little boy into this world. and THANK GOD i did. cos he gave me a wonderful husband and in laws that treat me like their own.

Its kindda a long post.. will be back another time for more updates (:

2011-05-31T23:05:00.003+08:00

Edited:

HELLO PEEPS! haven been blogging for a god damn long time. IM sorry ok ? been busy taking care of my lil boy.

Anyway my boy was out on the 20th May 2011. will blog about my boy's birth story after my confinement alright ?

Im still trying to get use to being a mummy, waking up every hr just to feed that boy of mine. he can wake up every 1 hr for milk which can be really tiring for me. Its kindda hard but im sure i can do it. and breastfeeding really let me bond well with my boy.

oh ya, ever since de start of my confinement, i have been blog shopping like almost every few days. and those owners like very hardworkin lo. EVERYWEEK also launch pretty clothings ): im gg to be a very poor mummy spending $$ on clothes. LOL. oh well, just wanna reward myself after gg thru a hard 10mths and almost 12 hrs of waiting time for my lil boy to arrive.

Shall end this post with my boy's pic. (:

This is Kayler Tai, my PRINCE (:

2011-05-05T13:15:00.002+08:00

Some ZiLian photos of myself (last time seeing this chubby me)

I have a feeling i will slim back to my previous me :/

Brunch at Wild Honey

photos with the girls are with JY. shall upload when she upload it (:

Ice Cream treat from JY. Its damn sweet but i love the waffle!

It was really a day of being a Taitai. Brunch and gossip session at Wild Honey. it was shopping time for all of us. walked quite alot, and now my leg is super suan already!

This will be a short post as i dunno what to type already! cos yesterday was mainly a meet up session with the girls to settle my craving, get some shopping done + last time the girls gonna see my bump. BabyKayler will be out next week!!! or latest in another 11 days time.

P.S: To my Cousin & Cousin in Law,

Congrats on de arrival of your baby boy, Jake Lee.

Welcome to parenthood. may your love for each other grows as you enter into a new journey of life (: I sincerely wish you 2 all the best! and i cant wait to see my lil nephew ! :D

2011-05-03T11:29:00.002+08:00

A BIG HELLO TO ALL MY FELLOW READERS!
I haven been blogging for weeks. im just too lazy, now that im on leave i do hope i would be able to blog abit more often. Last fri was de last day for me.. and it gonna last till end of aug, where i will be back to work again :/

Shall do a lil recap as of last year till now.

My r/s with SH wasnt that good when he left the army, somehow i felt that we grew apart from each other, den things ended between us. I didnt want it to end that way but no use forcing some1 you love to be with you right? thus, drinking was my new best fren. Clubbin on every weekend and drinking on every weekday night was what i did.

We still contacted each other as Friends but yet, i didnt want us to be as frens. I cried soo hard everytime we bbm-ed each other hoping he would change his mind about us. things didnt change he still prefers his new found freedom and frens den our 1year r/s(back then). I soon found out that we cant stay as frens as I wont be able to move on and would just torture myself in this. So, i decided to end our friendship, im not tryin to be the "oh we cant be frens cos we were a couple" but cos i wanna heal my heart and really accept him as a friend.

But somehow that night(10thsept) we all(me, him & Chanel) had an arguement. I still rmbed i was at Phuture that night and that arguement totally spoiled my mood. Left phuture when it closed and headed for supper, during that time Me&SH was smsing (cos i deleted him from my bb). things somehow changed? i dunno mayb he finally woke up from his dream or sth. cos he asked me back saying to give us a chance again. honestly, i was damn bloody happy but was in doubt. he could just end our r/s just like that and want it back just like that. will he do it again? but i couldnt care less cos i honestly still loved him. de 1st person to know about us was Carl Ross his camp buddy. he said i was stupid saying i shd have thought about it instead of agreee-ing to it almost immediately. but oh well, im just too happy to care :x

2 weeks passed, our r/s were kindda like a secret. no1 knew we were together except for close frens. and i found it weird in having such a secretive r/s thus i asked for a status which he was kindda reluctant to give me. thats when i kindda felt i shd take this time to forget him and not think we would get back together. on 19th sept he gave me a status and on de 2oth sept i went to take a preg test cos my mens haven come for 2 mths but i didnt worry cos mine is damn irregular -.- but cos of frens around me kept askin me to take just so to confirm that im not preg.

that day was a day i seriously felt all sorts of weird emotions. Sad, Delighted, Angry, Scared and etc. Cos when i found out im preg, i was damn scared i literally was shaking outside the toilet wanting to cry but yet am a lil delighted cos afterall its his baby. When i told him about the result he thought i was joking. but obviously i wasnt, send him a photo of de test kit. den i asked how? and he replied abort de child. i was devastated but i know i wanna keep this child even thou i dun have de means to do so alone. Anger came upon me when he mentioned "i give you a few thousand you go get an abortion, this baby will ruin our future."

Decision making lasted another 1 week, we have to make a decision quick (but i wasnt into abortion). We quarrelled alot and i went thru hell lotsa thinking and crying. In de end, we decided to keep Kayler.

Things got better as we prepared for our wedding, our r/s and all. Den de day came, we exchanged our vows on de 28th November 2010. Till death do we part. my morning sickness was sth i hated during that time and the very bad mood swing i get.

Started preparing for our boy's arrival in march as there's a bb fair in taka during that time. Was damn excited, and we bought lotsa stuff for our lil boy. every weekend, i would be shopping for Kayler. i think we have spent a bomb on his stuff.

and to now, Both SH& myself just cant wait till our lil boy arrive into our world and that we could carry him in our arms. We have come a long way even thou we were not together for long, the things we have been thru is alot. My poor boy(SH) have to study hard now as he will be having exams as of tml till 11 may and yet worry that his lil boy will want to come out during this time.

Kayler is in his 38th week, he would be able to pop out anytime already! i do hope he will pop out only next week, after SH finishes his exams so that he would be able to be there in the delivery room with me (:

Its a long post, but i just wanna have some memories of what i have been thru and that i shdnt take things for granted. its just a lil reminder for me :D

2011-04-14T16:11:00.002+08:00

Im back! HAHA! have been ultra lazy to update my blog. The only thing i have in mind is my ML, which is in 4 weeks time (:

Shall do an update on lil Kayler.. this boy has grown! he weighs 2.39kg last sat(09/04/2011) and when Dr Tan scan to show us his bones, we saw his leg bone which seem to be quite long. Looks like lil Kayler is like his daddy with Long Legs! hiakhiak. other den dat everything is normal. Gonna head back for check up next week and lil Kayler turns 36weeks old in me (:

Time pass fast but yet not fast enough cos i really wanna go on leave le. dragging myself to work like every single day is a damn tiring thing. but im counting down. its like 14 working days left (exclude weekends and ph) 5 weeks to his edd, 4 weeks to my ML, 3 more working weeks and 2 weeks to his fullterm.

Im excited! are you guys as excited as i am? i hope so. even thou i wish to see my son sooo much i tend to have mixed feelings within me. eg, Im afraid of the pain i need to go thru, I know somehow im gonna miss this lil bump of mine, Im gonna miss his naughty punches and kicks and most of all, Im afraid i cant be a good mother.

Lots of worries, but i will try my best to give all i can and to teach him the right values. Its gonna be a tough road for me& SH but im sure we can do it together and pass this obstacle (:

2011-04-06T14:11:00.003+08:00

My dear fren decided to finally upload photos of my bridal nail. hiakhiak! ok. this isnt exactly my bridal nail lah. was done for my bridal photoshoot. think the colours were pretty. Im still waiting for her to post my wedding nails. I like that more, cos its more kua zhang den this + its a wedding gift from her to me (:

But it kindda upsetting that i wont be getting my nails done already! like no more kuazhang nails le! ): cos i dun wanan scratch my lil boy with those nails. so ya, gonna rest my nails for like years.. + it would be botak too. which i doubt i wanan paint also. botak nails that are painted are super ugly! :x

Shall see when she will upload my wedding nails, den i can upload here too (: Thats all for now! Seeya!

P.S: Just so if you girls wanna get your nails done. you could head over to JunYing's webbie. ThistleBelle Nails and see de different designs she did for her customers (:

2011-03-27T12:00:00.003+08:00

Decided to do up a blogpost. Cos i found out sth interesting last night. and so, was talking to *** i dun wanna say the person name cos i dun wan those ppl to know how i found out about this. bu xiang hai da! and so, was talkin to *** and the person told me that there are quite a no. of ppl stalkin my blog. askin me why i dun wanna private my blog. cos these ppl are those that i wish they would just dun bother about my life. honestly ? uni life very sian izzit ? or is it cos you are single den do not have any girl's blog to stalk thats why stalk my blog ?

Anyway, all i wanna say is.. whatever i name my son or what. got your business? if i like that name and even thou its a girl's name online is it of your bloody business? i dun think so right ? if you think its funny or anything mayb you shd just keep de comments to yourself. cos seriously who are you to care/comment? are you de father of my child im bearin? I seriously thank you for makin my bloghits soo high. at first i thought my blog stats got problem. cos i seriously still dun believe of having 1k hits a mth. ITS ALOT! cos im neither famous nor am a good writer. So yup, this is dedicated to you gossip bunch. im sure you know who you are (:

Here goes the actual blogging. Sorry for startin my blog entry with such rantings. :x anyway, i just got my checkup done yesterday. Didnt do any blood test!(thank god) hate doing those test. Kayle is doing really very well. He is sucha big bb boy now. 2weeks ago, he was only 1.5kg and out of the 1kg gained in 2weeks. he gained 400gm. which means he is 1.9kg already and im only in my 32 turning 33 weeks tml. 7weeks or less to his arrival, 6 weeks to my maternity leave, 5 more working weeks and 4 weeks to his fullterm.

SH&myself are damn excited for his arrival, he means alot to us. BBKayle has made my r/s with SH stronger. and We both love him alot. I just cant wait to see this lil boy still wondering who he looks like. me? or SH? lotsa frens commented that first child usually look like the father! but i want him to look like me leh! half half can anot ? :x haoba. thats all for the time being.. My next check up will be on the 9thapr. hope SH dun need to work so that he can see his bb boy. He was damn excited yesterday when i told him about bbKayle's progress. being a daddy change him alot (: and i love it !

2011-03-25T11:20:00.002+08:00

Hello ppl. Sorry for the short hiatus but please bear with me. Have been rather tired or lazy to blog about anything !

Anyway its Friday. and im gonna see my bbKayle tml (: Oh ya, and im already 8 mths preggy!! 2 more mths till my edd. 7weeks+ to be exact. 28more workin days and i will be on maternity leave! Cant wait lo!! am getting lazier as days goes by...

Till den, See ya !

2011-03-07T20:20:00.002+08:00

Hello.. haven been blogging much. spend most of my time either on twitter or sleepin. HAHA! its true. anyway, there isnt much updates also. Today bbtai turns 30weeks old. in less den 10 weeks my lil boy will be out! much excited to see him !

Today i tendered my leave for thurs cos i wanna go to the bb fair at taka ! lets hope i can get good buys (:

Recently, i keep having the craving to eat stingray, lala, oyster omelette, sambal kangkong, chicken wings and sugar cane ! and all this items can be found at Chompchomp! but SH dun wanna bring me there cos he say its too far ):

hopefully my craving will go off soon. at least i still have ice cream at home ! ultimate yums.. i just cant resist ice cream! dunno how the hell am i gg to go thru confinement with ZERO cold drinks and ice cream. HELL for 30 days !! ok lar. gonna stop my bullshits. and end the post here.

2011-03-01T18:43:00.002+08:00

Im supposed to work today.. but den i had a very bad toothache since last night. ): So i didnt had enough sleep and rush to de dentist this morning. had done 2 fillings. but yet the pain wouldnt go off. Was soooo much in pain dat i teared, and SH couldnt do anything but sayang me hoping i can sleep cos 1. i didnt had enough sleep 2. i was in alot of pain.

In the end i gave up tryin to control de pain and started calling my gynae to ask for a letter to be allowed to do extraction. BUT de dentist dun dare help me do, cos im preggy.. oh well, in de end he asked me to try using salt water to rub against my gum as i saw only 1 side of my gum was swollen and it was that tooth that hurt. so, i did as told and now its not painful anymore..

I hope de pain wont come back, at least not till i give birth lah! SH went out for his exams already.. and he will only be done at 9pm so i asked him to get mcnuggets for supper. cos today got 1for1 deal. and he agreed.

im quite tired already as i didnt sleep well last night, and was in soooo much pain this afternoon. shall take a lil nap while waitin for my fil to be home for dinner. (:

2011-02-27T22:25:00.003+08:00

Photo taken last week before gg to club (: ok! i know i look plump or mayb i shd say rounder den i was previously.. but i think i look better den i was last time. just that look a lil more tired lah.

Didnt went out yesterday cos me&SH went out for MJ-ing till 5am. so we stayed home the whole day watching movies and napping. Today, I woke up about 9am so, i went to start what-apping ppl. askin if they are awake, cos i wanted to have mac breakkie. and bestie was awake!! THANK GOD! so i washed up, changed and drove to her place to fetch her (:

We haven met each other for few weeks liao. Actually i would say we haven had a proper meet up for mths le. cos, ever since i found out i was preg, i was damn busy. Busy preparing for wedding, and now been really tired to go out also. We did had a chitchatting session lah. so it wasnt that bad also.

After breakkie, i sent her home and headed back. SH bbm-ed me telling me he got to work.. but didnt know what time, thus we took a lil nap from like 11am-1pm before his dad asked us to have lunch downstairs. after lunch, SH headed to work. while me.. I went to town with my MIL to get back my chanel necklace and SH's mont blanc wallet which we had sent for repair.

Parked the car at wheelock and walked to taka. there, i showed my MIL de burberry bag that i wanted to get for bbtai, and she mentioned it was a lil too big for me. which i totally agreed ! but SH wanted me to get de bigger version leh. anyway, brought her to JC to see de bb bag, and she immediately say that 1 looks soooo much nicer plus its soo me :x she also knows i love pink. HAHA!

So, she bought that bag for me.. ( in de end my FIL say he would pay for it ) Now, i got a pink JC bb bag! mad pretty lo (: and im gonna psycho SH to get me the smaller version of the burberry since he agreed to get for me that bag le. thus im gonna have 2 bags which i liked sooo much ! hehe^^

Im really thankful for having such a great parents in law, they do take very good care of me despite the naggings. while for my hus, yes! he mayb irritating at times, and i may complain about him all the time but deep down i do really love him and i know he does too. but still, i am very sure he is a very NIAO person.. oh well, got good got bad. at least he is treatin me nice lah (: shall not be sooo demandin. yup. i guess thats about it. gonna acc him study as he is having his prelims tml. im sure he will pass despite studying sooo last min. Sweetheart, JiaYou i know you can do it. love you lots..

2011-02-24T16:44:00.002+08:00

Suddenly, i felt damn emo. thus another blog post. I ought to be shot dead lah, cos it isnt much of a big deal just that i felt like ranting a little here.

This sat marks me&sh's monthsary, we have been together for 1yr8mths and is still counting. And mon marks our 3rd monthsary as husband&wife. I wanted to have a lil celebration cos of the fact that we haven celebrate any monthsaries or anything else for like 8 mths ? ok mayb got 1 year also. cos i seriously cant rmb when was the last time we did celebrate anything together. ohh. mayb his suppose to be "surprise" birthday gathering. even so, he didnt appreciated wad i did.

I still rmb him promising to acc me to USS on my birthday but cos he had class from 12pm-3pm so we decided to go on another day but still celebrate my bday with me. FYI, we were just frens.. de night before my birthday i was totally wasted. drunk to de extent i dun rmb much of what happened that night. his fren send me to his place instead of mine.. so, i spent de night at his place.

Morning came and i rmb i did puke on his bed, and he actually cleared everything before he left for sch. soon after, i cleared up and prepared to head home. I know i didnt want to leave, and i did ask him to acc me after sch but he told me he had agreed to go to his fren's hotel party which kindda make me hate his fren alot. HAHA! I had hangover the whole day and didnt had much to eat.

I dunno why, but just when i felt we are close.. sth will come and trigger my emo-ness. Yes, i feel fortunate to have a husband that actually cares for me&my son but den yet i envy the fact of what other couples be it married or not do have. I mean human is like that right ? when we have a we want b.. ): So, its like i wanna have some time with him like dating... but he told me this " exam is here, need to study " its like WTF?!?!?!?! he can study awhile and spend de rest of his time playin games and den when his fren ask him over to their place to MJ he can go over but yet when i just ask him to acc me watch a movie and have lunch at a place i want to he told me he got to study ?

Seriously, Im tryin to be strong thus i told him nvm. but honestly, im like crying.. I am still young leh! i still wanna have those sweet lil treats from guys also mah! for my case i want it from him. (obviously cos i love him and he is my hus) but i doubt he knows and i didnt want to say much to actually force him into doing so, cos that isnt what he wanted and i dun wanan use force. so, Im like emo emo now and decided to rant here. cos he reads my twitter and doesnt read my blog already. so i guess this is de best place where i can type out how i really feel.

Im sure pregnancy is playing its part for letting me feel this way. OH GOD! i hope i still can be happy so that bbtai wont be a cry baby like his mum. )':

2011-02-21T16:20:00.002+08:00

Its Monday again. DRATS! Like what i mentioned on sat, I went to PH that night. before that, SH&myself had dinner at Vivo. We had fastfood again.. Carl's JR. Karl came to join us as he reached early. We went to get the chop early cos we didnt want to queue up at the later part. Waited for Chanel&Kane to reach, den they ordered 2 bottles of Johnny Walker as it was before 10pm they were able to get de 1for1 promo. so in total there were 4 bottles. the guys started playing games and started drinking. Felt damn sian cos i cant drink or dance. but at least i didnt just stayed home lah.

Felt kindda disappointed cos SH left me alone and kept disappearing. but i didnt want to spoil his fun thus i didnt say much also. But somehow i damn scared that i will find him dancin with another girl lo. Its not that i dun trust him, but i do have a phobia. esp 2 years ago. when he celebrated his 21st at PH and den he danced with another girl infront of me. He didnt touch her lah, but she was like touchin him lo. of cos i wouldnt want another girl to touch him wad. HE'S MINE! and YES! IM POSSESSIVE! Dun wanna share my things(which includes my hus).

But i kept tellin myself he wont do it already.. I have to trust him again, if not how can he trust me right ? ( Cos i ever cheated on him ) call me slut or wadeva but ya, i know my mistake. and so, i hope he enjoyed his night.. i left about 2.45am and headed home first cos i didnt want to get scolded by his parents for being home late. and so, I kept telling myself, my hus is wise he wont dui bu qi me again. and with those words in my head i left him with his frens and head home on my own. ( I feel damn proud of myself ok?! )

And yes, de best part.. As i was damn tired, I went home bathed and went straight to bed without realising SH doesnt have the hse key with him. HAHAHA!! and my poor boy was stuck outside the hse for 30mins before i finally woke up and picked up de call. He came home and den bathed and joined me in bed. He cuddled me to bed and before long we were sleepin already.

We woke up about 1pm and headed downstairs for Lunch. After lunch, nua around before heading to Jason's for MJ session again. Bought 1 pint of Swensen's ice cream which i had left it at his place and den Wendy's for our dinner. MJ till 10pm before we headed home. bought mac while we were drivin back. watched a chi movie which was seriously damn lame till i fell asleep, was awaken when SH took off my spects for me. Sometimes, its such little gestures of him that makes me really love him alot.

I guess he is some1 i had already entrusted my life with, thou nowadaes i keep tryin to keep myself on guards :x Eg. I will like tell myself he may change into a very mean hus in future and to prevent myself from being sooo hurt i must not love/depend on him alot. Fuck up. but im just afraid. i dun wanna lose him, but after growin up from a broken family and seeing men changin after a certain no. of Married years. IM SCARED and im just tryin to PROTECT my FRAGILE self. ohwell, its better to play safe den sorry. okie lah! im not gonna continue such a emo emo post.

On a happy note, BBTai finally turns 7 mths old. I have been carryin this lil boy of mine for 7mths! time pass damn fast. and soon enough i will be in de delivery room screamin as thou im dying. HAHA! but im sure most important of all is that, I want my lil boy to be healthy when he is born (: and that it will be a safe delivery for both myself and my lil boy. HE MEANS THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD TO ME. and nth is gonna change that fact (:

2011-02-19T13:18:00.005+08:00

Hello Readers,

surprised to see me blogging on a weekend ? ya.. cos SH is workin currently. and no 1 is at home. wanna go town but den damn lazy to go alone :/ spent my whole morning lookin for baby's clothing. Gonna start searchin for cutiepie's clothes. hehe (:

anyway, to those that really knows me. im a sucker to pink stuff. i get damn crazy over pink stuff. haha! i have lotsa pink clothings, bags even my jacket and water bottle is in pink :x so i am deciding if i shd get the pink juicy couture diaper bag. this 1 in pink. its simply unresistable. but cos im havin a baby boy. i dunno if i still shd get this and get the normal burberry or just get the bigger burberry and use it as a baby bag. any suggestions ?

Baby stuff aside, SH will be comin home for a little nap and we will be headin to PH tonight to celebrate RINI's 21st birthday. its been mths since i step into a club. I know its dangerous.. but i will make sure i take more precaution (: I hope every1 gonna enjoy their weekends. and i hope i will have hell of a good fun tonight! thats about it. BYE!

2011-02-17T14:00:00.001+08:00

and yes! finally, My wedding montage. I dunno why thou its just a normal video, to me it means alot! and the things we went thru and all. Everytime i see this video i will tear.. Thanks to my wonderful bridemaid Liling for doing this for me (:

2011-02-17T13:07:00.006+08:00

Hello, finally found time to upload my detailed scan photos of bbtai. he is fully formed and look like a cutiepie. hehe^^

His hands

Right&Left foot.(the left foot looks like he wanna kick a ball or sth)

I cant rmb wad was this :x

On de left is his kidneys den right is the arteries.

His Spine

I think this is the bb cord connected to me

100% male! thats actually his penis. haha!

His Stomach(like damn small hor?)

Correct me if im wrong. the left shd be his eyes. while right is his nose and lipsCan see his whole head from this scan ♥ His Rounded head taken from the top.

2011-02-14T10:18:00.002+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY SweetiePies..

Its Vday already, this year is the 2nd year i am with SH. and for the 2nd year we aint celebrating it. HAHA! ok. it isnt his fault, he did asked me if i wanted to have a good dinner and movie after it. but i rejected, thinkin of the mad expensive price. and im regreting it now.. OHWELL! i just hope today will passby fast. (:

Haven been blogging much, cos of a few reasons.
#1-> I am MAD LAZY!
#2-> There isnt much to update about
#3-> LIFE have been de same to me like everyday!

Let's update a little, what i did during the weekend.

Friday, After work we had dinner at home and den headed to Jason's place for BanLuck session. Played till 4am and We lost 10$ i think.

Saturday, woke up at 10am and left home at 10.45am for my checkup at Thomson. For the first time, my checkup took less den 30mins(waiting time included) cos Dr Tan needed to get a surgery done. thus kindda did a quick scan and all. no photos of babytai this time round ): babytai is growing good! he weighs 891grams, but ME, i am growing a little too fat :x hahaha ! must be all de laziness. Shall cut down on my food intake and make it a point to walk more (: After checkup, SH drove to Bugis and had the HK crispy noodle i was craving. MAD LOVE. and we did walked around for awhile before heading home. and head to my aunt's place in de evening.
We had Steamboat and den SH wanted to play MJ but den somehow, some1 said play BanLuck instead. and so, it was another BanLuck session which i lost $10. HAHA! keep losing sia. ohwell, its once a year. Next yr onwards, babytai will be around liao (: head home about 10+ and we slept at 12am.

Sunday, woke up at 10.30am called for Mac delivery. and i washed my clothes and rest a little more. My brunch came only at 11.45am, eat and den went to nua around. and took a nap at 3pm. Im sucha lazy pig now. :x woke up only at 6pm and i started playin MJ on viwawa. We only had dinner at 8pm. and den went to NTUC to buy my chocs, home and we watch a movie with strawberries and satay hehe^^ MJ again before sleepin at 12.30.

Im soooo tired now, cos i woke up at 6am today and couldnt sleep well until it was time for me to wake up. and now. im feeling emo + tired. I hope no1 sends flowers to my office for my colleages, i just dun wanna feel jealous.

2011-02-08T15:56:00.002+08:00

I finally found time and am not lazy to blog alittle here. Had a little quarrel with SH last tues.. so it totally spoilt my mood for the whole day thus no post.. den comes wed, was workin for half day only. so i was only browsing online and wasting my time in the office. went home(niang jia) to visit my mum and pass some of the goodies i got in the office to her. sat awhile and talked to my aunt that came back for visitin from HK. head back home for lunch with SH.. Steamboat dinner with the family, after dinner we headed to JP for coffee and chitcatting.. (it seems like a weekly thing)

CNY chu yi- woke up at 8am. bathed and got ready within 20mins(with makeup), im damn surprised with myself cos usually it takes me 30mins to get my make up done. anyway we headed for breakfast at Superbowl's Mac. Shared a Deluxe breakkie with SH. left for JB visiting about 9.30am. This yr there isnt much ppl gg back to jb (compared to last yr) we managed to reach my MIL's mum place within an hour. stayed there till 1.30pm before heading to my FIL's mum place. had a light lunch there and left to meet my FIL's classmates.. had the rotiprata at JB, the plain rotiprata was damn nice compared to the egg 1. damn tasteless lah ! after their catching up, we headed back to SG reached SG at about 7+pm. SH&myself we rested alittle while before headin to bestie's place. Steamboat & gamble. I cant rmb if i lost or won. but SH won $18 in MJ.. reached home about 1am. mad tired..

CNY chu er- didnt do much that day. had steamboat with the family and SH's cousin came to join too. after lunch, we left for my place. went home(niang jia) for visitin about 2hrs and we went back home. didnt do anything at all. but we managed to book tickets for "Homecoming" at night. so we headed to JP at 9pm for coffee session before watching our movie at 10.30pm. Review for the movie: it aint that bad i would say.. had my fair share of laughin, but i still find that there's no meaning lah. like only laughin nia. so, if you wanna watch a funny show i think this is still ok. but dun put your expectation too high cos i find that jack neo's acting aint as good as before but still not bad lah.

CNY chu san- woke up only in the noon time. had lunch and more resting before i prepared to head to Celest's 21st. was de first to arrive cos i needed to head to SH's fren gathering. went there had a little buffet, chat for a little while and left for town. Met up with his fren and we had "The Mushroom Pot" for dinner. It was actually steamboat lah. food was ok but definitely not worth the $$. After dinner we headed to Jason's place. The guys started their MJ session. played a fast "dong" and we started playin BanLuck. I think i won a few dollars.. Cant really rmb thou.

CNY chu shi- nua for the whole afternoon. started to prepare only during the evening time. had a little quarrel with SH also. but ok liao haha! headed to my MIL's fren hse to bainian. I LOVE the BEEF STEAK at her place. mad nice ok ? had 4 pcs which i keep thinkin was only 3.. and i was not full lo !! headed to Christina's place at about 8+.. BanLuck session again.. me&SH both lost 30$++ add up its 60$. damn sad lah ! oh well, gamble got lose and win 1 lah.

CNY chu wu- SH got to work. so it was me alone at home with my MIL. only woke up at 12pm. MUAHAHA! sleep till damn shiok. had lunch and went to BoonLay Market with my MIL. bought some things from NTUC and went back home to nap. SH came back at 6. we had a light dinner and headed to TJ's place.. BanLuck session again !! this time round my luck got better. i won $60!! but SH lost $60. hahaha ! end up nv win also. but still, i had fun..

CNY chu liu- went to jp in the noon to book tickets for the show "Da Shi Jie" show isnt as nice lah. but learn alittle history about SG.. wont recommend this show if you are watchin it on a weekend. totally dun worth de $10. didnt really do much also. slept most of the time..

and now im back to work. with lotsa stuff to do. Headache ahh!!!! I really wish i dun need to work lo. be my own boss or sth. mayb i shd really take my up my nail course and work as a manicurist. I just simply love that job even thou its tiring. but the moolah is WOAH!! will still consider esp at the fact that if i do work as that "will i have time for my little boy?" I wanna spend as much time as i could with him. ohwell, i hope everything will work out good for me ! its a damn long post with words ONLY! ps ahh. dun really like takin photos now. cos i seriously think i look damn chui!

2011-01-31T14:07:00.002+08:00

I wanted to do a little blogging today about my weekend. but ever since i reached office till now im still ultra busy ! but it seems like time is passing real quick. month end is today, I actually cleared finish my month end reports. but yet, fuck ! when i came to work this morning. S gave me another report to do. and i have to finish it by today -.- how to finish 1 mth's report within hrs. plus i need to reply to emails and fuckin find more supplier for my uniform & PA system. and seriously, none of the suppliers are replying to my email ! sibei dulan !!! den got to key in some mailing datas into the system. and must get it done by today cos mailing is tml ! fuck lah ! tell me howw to finish in time ? i want wed 1pm to come !!! half day work on wed, den off from thurs till next tues ! anyway, i will blog soon ! when i finish all my work, last weekend was a busy weekend for me.

2011-01-26T09:33:00.003+08:00

Shall update alittle.. recently, i have been bloghopping to most of the mummy's blog cos im really getting damn excited for my boy's arrival. I used to be sooooooo afraid of the pain and all im gg to go thru. but im very sure it will be worth it. babytai will make me&SH grow closer(not like we are very far apart lah.) gonna start shopping for babytai's things in march. oh ya, have been thinkin of a new name for babytai cos, Kayden is really common. Yesterday me&SH thought of Tylor and honestly i think this name quite nice. but SH is sooooo fickle minded he say he wanna think of sth else again. ohwell, 3 more mths for him to think.. and hopefully by den. babytai will have a name. Recently, he has been really very active & quite an attention seeker. When i dun sayang or talk to him around 9+ - 10pm he would start kickin me continuously. awww. he's such a cutie pie lah. and after talkin to him or sayang him awhile he would auto stop the kick and i think go to bed. cos there wont be any movement. like totally nth ! (also good. can sleep peacefully) but he is a "morning bird" he always wake up around 7+am and start his "exercise" in my tummy. which means i cant usually sleep till late on weekends, i would wake up in the morning sayang him awhile den go back to bed. and den if i nv had breakfast about 9+ - 10 am. he would start his kickin session. Thou i must admit im quite tired for this pregnancy but im getting used to the usual cycle everyday. what he would do and all. and yes my boy tends to get jealous easily, esp when i say other babies are cute. but i would let him know that no matter how cute de babies are he is my precious little 1, a part of me, some1 dear to my heart. okie lah. thats about it. and yes, CNY is next week. Can doll up pretty pretty and go out lo. wil try to take more photos alright ? that is if i dun find myself ugly. HAHA!

Edited: A fren tweeted this webby on twitter. and i didnt want to work thus i tried this webby. and guess wad ?! a photo of what my child may look like was done. but it came out girl thou. oh well did it for fun only.

SH's photo i used.

My photo that i used.

And this was the outcome. HAHA

2011-01-24T17:07:00.002+08:00

Hello! am back for more updates (: Didnt really do much last fri. SH came to pick me up from work cos he went to get the car which was in the workshop. homed after that.. after dinner we headed to Jason's place for kinect and den a short poker session. We came home only at 2.30am. Woke up early cos the person for the wiring thing came. went out only at 1pm. headed to Blushwax to get my brazilian done. AND its seriously not painful at all ! unlike the last time i had my treatment done at Fabulous Tan. SH accompanied me thru out my appt for brazilian & pedicure ! hehe. ^^ happy to have such a patience hubby. Headed to far east for our lunch, was mad hungry ! and it was 3+ already, my nails appt was at 3.45. had chicken rice and off for my spa pedi at The Nail Status (: love the place and the girls there. they really take pride in their works. i was a manicurist last time, so i know how to differentiate good and bad pedi done. Am now having a bright red colour with gold glitter as gradiation ! mad love ! after my appt SH&myself went to look for Steph&babyAddison. Talked to steph for awhile and played with babyAddison. it only makes me get more excited for my boy's arrival. cant wait to see his looks, play with his tiny hands&feets, plant kisses on him everyday & having him in my arms. He will be my strength as I continue my future. After playin for wad i think is 30mins, we headed to taka cos my mil wanted to get some biscuits from the CNY fair. bought like 100++ worth of goodies. and carried it to Cine for our dinner at pastamania with Kane&Chanel. After dinner we shopped awhile more.. at Cine & 313. still couldnt find my sandals, but was able to buy this slipper from mitju. oh well, I hope i can find a nice pair soooooon ! after that we trained back home. was really a tired day for me, as i haven been out for sooooooo long for like MONTHS! haha. yup thats about it. Monday is about to end. 4 more workin days before weekend is here. am looking forward to sunday cos im gettin my extensions and nailarts done at JY's.. CANT WAIT!!!!!!

2011-01-23T11:57:00.006+08:00

I decided to be hardworkin a little and upload photos for the blog. haha ! like finaly. not much but ya these are the only few photos in my camera :x i dun really like taking photos when now. cos i look sooo haggard! enjoy (:

Taken at Blushwax while waiting for pam to get her brazilian done.

hot from the oven ! took only yesterday (:

Took this on Thursday night after getting my hair cut done.

SH's damn MUD hairstyle for CNY.

heres the last photo of my tummy i took de week before.

and yes i know my tummy's gettin bigger. babytai is GROWING!

Our Genting Trip -Chili's (food was mad awesome)

ps. same price as sg but in rm !

SH&his fren played the superman ride cos im preggy not allowed to.

thank GOD i played this sooo many times so didnt really minded them playin without me.

The only photo i took of myself during my trip :x

Shall update tml about my weekends ! Enjoy today alright ? cos tml is back to work day ):

Edited: Sudden craving for sweet desserts. anyway, i just went to town to try to find shoes for cny but still, couldnt find anything ): lets home i will be able to find a suitable pair soon ! and heck the price. gonna pamper my little self before babytai is out and den i guess i will stop pampering myself. haha ! while in town i went to the taka CNY booths. saw this jap flown strawberries. thinkin of those strawberries it looks fuckin delicious lo ! but den, it cost like $50 for like 16 pieces of strawberry. MAD EXPENSIVE lo ! didnt get it.. but still im thinkin about it. cos it looks super duper sweet. too bad im not rich or else i sure get de.

2011-01-21T09:44:00.002+08:00

Hello! I wanted to blog for wed and thurs. but i keep thinking i would be very hardworkin and head home to upload the very few pictures i have in my camera. but yes. im lazy i failed to do so.. Im hoping i would upload it tonight (: To my defense, Last night after dinner me&SH left for JP cos we wanted to get a new haircut for CNY of cos. for me, cos i just cut my hair i decided to just layer and trim my fringe. SH got himself a super mud haircut. will upload the photos soooon ! :x while me. nth much change except the fact that the stylist cut BANGS for me. Firstly, why i hate bangs sooo much is cos, my hair grows damn fast. cutting bangs will make me get irritated after like 1-2weeks time. and cuttin short bangs is a NO NO thing. cos its damn bloody ugly. Secondly, SH hates girls in bangs. he say super act cute. but he didnt really say me yesterday.. cos it wasnt my fault, i asked her to trim my fringe she go and cut bangs. Thank GOD i dun look ugly in it. SH even commented i look like doll. HAHA! like super act cute lo. :x esp since im having a little bump now. ohwell, shall tahan for these few weeks.. for the time being shall have sth different for CNY (: after we cut our hair, I went to optical 88 to collect my free contact lens. its a daily disposable contacts and its COLOURED. and of cos i did bought my Yami Yogurt. finally settled my craving for it. and headed to Starbucks for our little coffee time. i dun really drink much coffee so i guess a little caffine wont affect my little boy. Reached home only at 11pm+ and i was really very tired. thus i head straight to bed. Im stilll soooo tired now ): lazy to work. am just like acting as thou im workin but im actually blogging :x sucks to have an employee like me. muahahahaha ! ok lah. thats about it. i hope i will have time to blog the photos tonight (:

2011-01-18T11:26:00.002+08:00

Its Tuesday (: feeling much better already ! 3 more working days... Anyway, Last night Dinner date with JY& her sis was great. We actually chat/talked/laughed till we forgot about the time. and when we saw the time it was 11+pm. We had dinner at NP's alumni restaurant. It was JY's aunt restaurant. i ordered Lasagna(duno if you spelt it this way) but it was a really small portion. THANK GOD for the extra side orders. JY was able to feel Babytai's soft kick. and she still mention it was de first time she felt a pregnant woman tummy. HAHA! anyway, after we left. SH&myself decided to cab home instead of takin a bus cos it was OMG late. i actually was thinkin we would have left like 9+ or 10. but it was a really good meet up. gonna meet ger next sunday for my CNY's nails. I wonder if she is able to do a HelloKitty in cheongsum :x ohwell, I promise to take photos and post it up alright ? Last night I had a nightmare, it really felt sooo real. I dreamt SH started treatin me damn bad (like the time before we broke up) and I found out he had met another woman and wanted to leave me&babytai for her. I was like totally BEGGING him to not leave lo. Seriously, I wonder why i acted that way.. Imagine me on my kneels begging him not to leave.. but he just push me away, was not bothered and just left. I woke up feeling soooo scared&started getting paranoid. Somehow, SH woke up alittle too. and i asked him to hug me to sleep. and i kindda tell him the nightmare briefly. and he hugged me to sleep and ask me not to think too much and before he fell asleep. he told me he love me. awww. it was those words that stops my stupid thinkin and head back to slumberland. :D Honestly, these few mths have been quite a rough road for me. thou i dun have PMS, i start thinkin ALOT! and really. 1 of thing that tops de list is that SH will leave me. I cant wait till babytai is out, and me back to my usual self. I rather have pms den thinkin about all these shits everyday -.- When i woke up today, babytai was moving ALOT! he was punching me (im very sure its punching, cos his leg was in another direction.) and moving alot. i think i was sleepin in a position he dun like, but i was toooo tired to move plus SH was huggin me. so i ignore his punches and movement and went back to sleep (yes. im a super bad mummy :x) yup. thats the update i got for today. and im thankful there are still a handful of frens and readers that read my bloggie (:

2011-01-17T09:30:00.002+08:00

Im starting to loath coming to work on monday. It will only reminds me that this is the starting of my work week :( anyway was quite busy over the weekend. Lets summarize everything.. On fri, Celebrated my mil's birthday after work at clarke quey. We had steamboat for dinner and had coffee at TCC to cut the cake. Den come Sat, SH had to work thus i stayed home the whole day with my mil and headed to JP in the afternoon for some CNY shopping. managed to grab some clothes (: LIKE FINALLY! and to make my day even better my MIL paid for my purchases. its been like 6 years gg 7 since my clothes for CNY got sponsored lah ! so tell me if im happy anot. anyway, SH came to fetch us after his work and we went to TamanJurong Mac to grab those Miniature toys cos JP didnt had it. And we spent our whole night home. Yesterday, woke up at 10.30am to prepare to head to BabySean's First Birthday party (: Met 4 of my ex-classmates after 2 years !!! Ya. 2 years of MIA-ing :x Most of us are upgrading already.. being mothers. So far, among the girls im the only 1 preggy and 2 of them had already gave birth 2 more are stil dating but i guess mayb in few years time I will hear WeddingBells for them. HAHA! and so, we chatted and played with babyIan till 4+ before me and SH trained to town. Wanted to do a fast CNY shopping but sian. de burberry bag dat i wanted to get is OOS and there is this short that i wanted to get too is also OOS -.- FML! and so i left town empty handed. Spend some quality time with SH watching TV. LIKE FINALLY! he have been playing dota for like almost EVERY SINGLE NIGHT LO! I dun really bother also lah. cos im like super tired nowadaes, and all i wanna do is sleep :x anyway i took 2 pics of my tummy shall post it up. it will most prob be the last photo cos a fren told me that it isnt very good to take photo of or tummy(when preggy) so, i just wanna play safe (: dun wan anything to happen to my babyboy. Tonight gonna meet JY and mayb her bf for dinner. Lets hope nth will cock up my night. Enjoy your weekdays PPL (:

2011-01-13T11:10:00.003+08:00

Shall do a to do list for CNY. Cos i have lotsa stuff not done yet. ):

1. Booked an appt for my Mani(done) & Pedi
2. Booked an appt for Brazilian(if got time to do)
3. Start getting my CNY goodies. (at least 2-3sets)
4. Shop for my burberry tote.
5. Save some money for angbao giving

Currently, thats my to do list. the worst part is to find my clothes, cant seem to find sth that will fit me nicely and all. Oh well, My First CNY with babytai in me. Next yr onwards, it will be with babytai. and I will have to start shopping for 2 persons, Myself & Babytai (:

edited: A fren was telling me how fun it was to review her resolution. thus i shall review mine too. since i got nth better to do. below are my 2010 resolutions.. lets see how many i did achieve.

1) I MUST SAVE MORE MONEY !!! (I was able to save up sooo much more moolah now)
2) wanna try to start taking up a part time course to study (: (i actually planned it but got to stop everything i plan as i didnt expect babytai to come along. but im sure studies is still important)
3) ensure myself to be healthy and happy ! (2010 wasnt a really good year for me, im sure i was not as healthy as i used to be. and i kindda cried more den usual. so i didnt achieve this too
4) hoping to have more times for my frens. (I was able to meet my frens more, but i lost quite a no. of frens.)
5) clean up my room regularly !!! (I am a very lazy person. so, i didnt achieve this too :x)
6) be more obedient to my mum (I tried to listen to wad i can. wont say i fully did it but i did managed to listen to her)
7) plan my future ahead ( I totally did so, but my plans came to an end the moment i found out i was preggy.)
8) stop being so playful and be serious in what im doing (I managed to be serious in wadeva i do. and my thinking did mature)

2011-01-12T10:02:00.002+08:00

Im back from my short hiatus. wanted to blog before i left for Genting/KL but i fell sick on wed -.- had fever + flu. went to see a doc cos i took mc for that day. Thank god it was just flu virus thus de fever was there. and by thurs i was well enough to go for my gynae check + my long awaited trip. Had a detailed scan at thomson medical. babytai is 100% BOY. finally saw his penis. hahaha ! dun blame me lah ! previous few times i went, only saw his balls. I prefer a girl thou, but babytai is still my precious son lah ! He have been rather active recently.. kicking me often and telling me when i forgot my meal time. HAHA! he is 1 greedy boy eh. he knows when is the time for my meal and will start kickin me if im late. damn cute. and often when i start emo-ing, he will kick to tell me that im not alone. Im starting to LOVE being preggy unlike when i first knew i was preggy. I will try to upload the scan soon. cos its in a cd but im rather lazy recently, I rather nua on de bed den do anything else :x i didnt took much pictures despite bringing my camera -.- Lame i know. but i was too lazy. shall steal a few from Chanel :x was quite moodless for the whole trip cos i was still have flu + blocked nose. and i couldnt eat much also. oh well, I dun blame any1 even thou im sure it was SH dat pass de flu virus to me. He has been quite a dear to actually still tahan my temper throughout the trip. HAHA! Anyway i didnt get any shopping done in KL thus i wanna start my CNY spree soooon. I wanna be a sexy preggy. MUAHAHAHA! okie lah. i dunno what to type liao keep BS-ing nia. BYE!

2011-01-04T14:26:00.004+08:00

Today, I heard a very funny piece of news. A fren of SH's told me the reason why he still hold on to me despite me hurtin him in 2009 was. and de reason could be cos, among all his gf i treated him the best. I was laughing out loud when i saw that comment. thinkin of all de times i scolded SH and den saying him even thou its my fault. being super unreasonable and all. so when that fren told me i treated him de best i was tryin to figure out how bad his exes treated him. but i doubt i will ever find out, he everytime tell me dunno le or forget liao. oh well, that comment made me happy for now. All along i thought the girl before me treated him sooo much better den i did. so it was surprising to know i treated him better. ohwell, whether or not i treated him good or bad. I took the vow with him to go thru thick and thin and be with him till death do us part. I hope as both of us are looking forward to the arrival of babytai, our love will grow as we walk down this road as a family (: I would give him the best support he needs ( but still nags at him ). I just cant help it lah ! he loooooooves to see me getting pissed off -.- but i love him alot and hope it will stay this way ♥

2011-01-03T10:34:00.002+08:00

Firstly, I would like to wish every1 a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I do hope every1 enjoyed their new year (: for me, new year eve wasnt much. i slept my new year eve away cos i was damn tired. but i woke up at the stroke of midnight to see the fireworks outside the window. So it wasnt that bad eh ? den comes new year day. SH & myself spent the raining afternoon home. napping, watching tv and just nua-ing. till, about 6pm where we left and head to Jason's place for his hse warming. before heading to his place, SH brought me to JP cos i wanted my YAMI Yogurt. LOVE that alot.. peach flavour with fruity pebbles. YUM MEH TTM. and den bought a small cup for Chanel. She too felt it was small and regretted not getting a bigger cup. ohwell, theres always next time (; and den it was Band Heroes until dinner, we came back and the guys started playin dice. losers will have to drink. and with the BIG bottle of CHIVAS we brought over. the guys drank alot. 1 was semi drunk de other was a DRUNKARD! but he still kept saying he wasnt and which he puke on Jason's sofa and sheet. As im Preggy i cant stand the smell of vomit and would puke too at the smell of it. thus i felt sooooo unwell that night. de moment SH lost for his poker game. i ask him to leave as it was already 2.30am, he has to wake up at 8.15am de next day due to work. and of cos i was having an awful feeling. he didnt want to leave thus i kindda scolded him alittle. BUT to my defence, i really was not feeling well. and i had to drive home. cos SH drank alot... oh well, i just hope he understands i really didnt mean to spoil his night just like that. I stayed home the whole of yesterday until night time where we head to JP bought durian, as i kept craving for it but cant find any as it wasnt de durian season. Our night ended early, SH was feeling super tired due to the lack of sleep de night before and me ? cos im forever feeling tired. HAHAHAHA! dun have any energy liao. Today, back to office still having the holiday mood. cos this weekend i wont be in town (: imma head to Genting/KL for me TRIP!! am sooooo looking forward to it. oh ya, i am in love with the watermelon ice cream that is sold in other countries except SG -.- but usually can only be bought at sushi restaurant. cant wait to have that. HEHE ^^ will be having my detailed scanning on thurs too. cos i need to get a letter from the doc, or else i wont be able to board the plane (: im sooooooo excited and looking forward to a relax holiday for de first time with a HUSBAND haha. i hope every1 will enjoy their day too.

2010-12-31T10:47:00.003+08:00

Been bloghopping for the whole morning. Reading all the mummy that had given birth to their child. The pain they had to go thru seems to freak me out. Im starting to doubt myself if i can tahan de pain. I used to think im not very afraid of pain, but as time goes by.. i realise how i can tolerate pain. Im scared yet excited for babytai's arrival. i hope the pain would be as bearable as those gastric pain i had that made me not being able to move from de bed. if the pain is more painful den dat think i wont be tough enough to go thru natural birth without epidural. anyway. its about 5 mths time. Want to say its long also not very long. Cos im already into my 5th mth liao. and it feels as thou i just found out about my pregnancy last week :s ohwell, for now.. babytai's kicks are the motivation i have to go thru this (: and of cos my hubby's love towards us. i love it alot when he would snuggle me up and wanting to feel babytai's kick. until now, babytai seem to not want to kick very much when his father wanna feel him. hahaha ! shall wait for the right time. I took half day today.. most prob will go Vivo with my colleague. shall grab lunch and do some shopping there. (:

2010-12-30T15:01:00.003+08:00

I would very much want to upload photos into my blog. but den i look seriously damn chui now. Reason 1- i look like a haggard. 2- my short hair is startin to be wavy and its quite thick ! makin me look uglier. oh well, i dun really care much of my looks now. i shall wait till babytai is out. i need rebonding + dying of my hair. the state my hair is in. TERRIBLE! mayb before cny i shd get another trim done. to layer my hair more. its really damn thick. making my hair look untidy and all. will start growing my hair (: i love long locks. but cos im feeling hot recently thus i decided to cut it till my shoulder length :x i shall not do this stupid stunt again !

2010-12-29T17:40:00.002+08:00

shall do a quick update since i got to wait for my dear colleague. its new year day in 3 days time. and i still dunno how am i gg to celebrate new year eve. damn sad right ? what to do ? pregnant woman cant do alot of things :( on a brighter note, our Genting/KL trip will be next week ! damn fast lo.. My dear boy paid for my tickets&accomodation toooo ! LOVE him ttm. Cant wait to go there relax & stuff myself with foodie !!! thou my lil boy have to suffer. he cant get to eat his fav PORK! hahahahahaha ! oh well, stuff him with seafood ? and ice creams !!! yum meh... okie i shall stop talkin about foodie makin me hungry -.- anyway i kindda have my new year resolution done. #1: I do hope that for the next 4 mths i would be able to endure and give birth to babytai and of cos he must be healthy #2: I wanna be a good mother&wife to both my BIGboy&LiLboy. #3: To be able to think more like an adult and stop being childish. #4: STOP all my scary spendings and save it for my LiLboy. #5: and that my family would be healthy&happy for the year of the RABBIT 2011 !!!

2010-12-28T08:59:00.002+08:00

Last night, JY bbm-ed me. I finally boooked my cny nails appt liao. muahahaha ! for this year, im gonna spend a little more its expensive but den this has always been my passion sth i love. and now, i cant have long and pretty nails with cutie 3D items. I dun wanna scratch my boy with those. so ya, no more pretty nails for like 5 years ? JY was sayin that i haven try her hello kitty, so i was thinkin how about CNY hello kitty hehe^^ i dunno how it gonna look like but i trust her. shall get melody toooo ! rabbit year mah. will take a photo of it after im done (:

2010-12-27T10:52:00.003+08:00

Babytai turns 5 mth today. he has been in my tummy for 20 weeks. cant believe time pass sooo fast. Anyway it was christmas over the weekend i wonder how every1 spent it. for me, it wasnt much.. I took half day on fri, thus i headed to town got some pressy and continue to walk walk. poker with the guys at night. den come sat, stayed home for the whole day till night time. we went to chervon for karaoke. with the same group of ppl mostly were drunk that night. slept only at 4 am. me&SH totally rested for de whole of yesterday. we were basically, sleeping, watchin tv, playin game, and more sleeping. i slept the most, but surprisingly i could still sleep at night. imagine how lazy i can get. hahaha ! but SH couldnt sleep, so when i woke up at 4am i think. he was still awake, and he asked if i wanted supper. -.- i was like sooo tired can ?! still supper.... den he say he can bring me to geylang. i was like. nah. its okie. i rather sleep. now my poor boy is sooo tired. and he has to work. oh well, for the family. he has to tahan. anyway, im still sooo tired despite sleeping sooo much. ): babytai seems to make me feel more lazy and tired ever since i had him. i hope after giving birth, i will have the energy again. theres nth much to update. im lookin forward to my genting trip next thurs. (:

edited: sorry for the delay of photos. 1 photo was taken de week before another is done just 5 mins ago (: See if you can see de difference. cos to me, i can see my tummy got rounder. but i still dun look preggy from de back ! -.- and ppl still stares at my bump when i board bus or mrt. dunno wads wrong with ppl nowadaes.

2010-12-22T15:18:00.003+08:00

Im gonna rant alittle here. was abit bored thus i started hopping onto frens blog. read a post and i felt quite offended ( I know the post isnt for me, but cos i am in de same situation as what you had mentioned kindda make me feel offended ). Firstly, Im sure my future isnt ruin just cos i have babytai in me. #02, i cant be 100% sure that my husband will be the 1 for me. but at least he did changed for a better and is treatin me&babytai good. #3, Yes, we did broke up but we got back before realising babytai in me. AND only close frens know how hard was it for us to actually decide on this path. fyi- MS didnt want to marry me nor have this baby. he wanted me to abort it ok ?! do you know how devastated i was? but still im glad he changed his mind about everything. #4, I had plans for my future even before i was preggy but i had to delay everything cos to me now babytai means the world. you are not a mother yet, so you may not understand how it feels. and dun say you wanna abort your child even if you "kenna" cos abortion=killing. plus its your blood and flesh. go think about it before sayin it out. *this isnt an offendin post. i just feel you dun understand what is it like to be in our(young mummies)'s shoe*

edited : oh ya, fyi. i didnt update any1 much about myself ever since my marriage so i was much confused over the sms you sent. you claimed you are updated unlike me. but how can some1 update you about me when i dun tell any1 about myself ?! and like i mentioned this isnt an offending post neither am i tryin to pick a fight with you. im just letting you know more. oh well, you haven been to this stage.. being a wife/daughter in law and mother is far worst den being some1's gf only. The responsibilities you have to take up.

2010-12-21T10:07:00.002+08:00

haven been blogging for quite a no. of days. PS! i actually took a photo of my tummy last week, but am too lazy to upload it when im home :x wil try to do so tml alright ? Gonna catch Tron at Suntec, heard lotsa good reviews for the show. Excited ttm. and after movie We would be heading for his fren's bbq. hopefully i will eat enough for dinner (: and i really hope my hair wont smell :x cos i hate washin my hair at night, esp since im preggy now.

2010-12-16T10:26:00.002+08:00

LALALA!! its thursday already... I SMELL WEEKENDS! I cant wait to sleep and not wake up till noon time. hehehe^^ My boy would be headin to Zouk tonight and me stayin home (: shall have some alone time with babytai. haven been talkin to him lately :x hahahaha ! anyway, i had a conversation with a fren's gf which turned out to be quite a close fren. Christmas is coming, and it reminds me of christmas last year. De surprise he gave me, and as much as i would like to forget de pain i had given him. I still hate myself up to this date for hurtin him, so how can he just pretend nth went wrong and not hate me right ? but he could.. he showed me his love, care and concern for me&babytai. Since the time we parted, I nv once imagine us walkin down the aisle together hand in hand. Everything seems like a dream. Often, i asked myself. wad if i decided to let go of him and all these nv happen, what if the father of my child was another guy, what if he was not the guy that was beside me that night and mayb among de guest. I kept asking myself all these what ifs.. and yet i get no ans. mind me but i love to question things. wanting to know what if i had made another decision and all. dun be mistaken, i am happy being with him but just wanna know what if i decided to be with another guy when we had broke up. would all these still happened ? or would everything changed ? will FATE still bring us back together ? haha ! im a very "why" person. and i hope my little boy wont follow mummy's footstep. shdnt let him watch de " 1000 whys " show. i cant really rmb de title of the cartoon but im sure its cos of that show i keep questionin myself. hahah! actually i dun have much to blog. cos my babyboy isnt moving much and im like doing the same thing every single day. wake up at 7.50 leave hse at 8.15 reach office at 9 and home at 7pm dinner relax and watch show at 9pm and sleep at 10. this is like my daily routine EVERY SINGLE DAY! boring life of an office lady. oh well. just wanna add words into my blog. see liao also happy. mind me ahh. hahahaha ! shall post a photo of my tummy tonight or tml (:

2010-12-14T09:07:00.002+08:00

2nd day of work for this week. had taken half day leave for 24 & 31 dec just cos i dun have the mood to actually work. :x and next mth leave on the 7th cos i will be leaving for KL on the 6th (: Im sooooo looking forward to it. eatin & shopping. muahahaha. dunno got energy not. Anyway SH will be gg to Zouk this thurs for his sch's stuff. dunno what they call it. SH wanted to ask me go. but thinkin that i have to work on fri, i decided not to go and let him have fun on his own. So, for thurs it will be de first night that i will be home without SH. hopefully i will be tired early, den can sleep early. so i wont be like worried or anything :x i cant blog much today as i need to settle some deco stuff for our company lunch next week. tired lo. still make me do such stuff -.-

2010-12-13T09:26:00.003+08:00

Back to work again :/ sibei sian sia. dragged myself out of bed today. as usual asked myself if i can go on mc :x hahaha ! im sucha lazy ass now. Shall start blogging about my weekend (: had a last min MJ session with SH's frens,first time playing by myself and i still won $12 lo. hehe^^ played till 1+am reached home only at 2am. bathed but still didnt felt tired so me and SH watched despicable me. i watch halfway den fell asleep :x woke up early on sat, like 8am lo ! super early. tried to back to sleep but couldnt until 10.30 and i have to wake up at 11am to prepare cos we will be heading to GoodWoodsPark hotel for SH's sis birthday treat. after lunch we headed to buy 4D cos i kept dreamin of this no. 157. so i thought of buyin 0157. walked to luckyplaza bought 4D for sat and sun. Headed to ION to view my Samantha thavasa outlet ! muahaha. mad love their stuff, but the bags that they bring to SG de colours sibei dull lo. like black, nude, white, pale pink. etc. whereas in JAP they have colours like tiffany green, babypink, summer yellow etc etc.. i love such colours. very act cute but it really brighten up my day leh. SH and MIL acc me there, walked around feeling damn disappointed :x and den i went to the petite corner where they sell accessories and wallets. started browsing.. and sth caught my eye this hot pink wallet. it was a long wallet, and i dun really like having long wallets cos sometimes it can get abit irritating. started to find for a shorter 1. but i couldnt find it in the colour i wanted, SH asked me to get the salesperson and ask about it. and she went to find lo. de moment i saw the wallet my eyes like open damn big smiling all de way liao. :x muahaha ! i believe SH's mum saw it or mayb cos she wanted to get me sth after since she won quite alot in 4d with me&sh's ROM no. she wanted to get me LV bag but den i dun like LV and dun see any bags i like so far. I haven change my wallet thou, wana change only next year (: we continue to shop until 5+ den walked back to Hyatt as our Car was parked there. change into spects and headed to Kane's place for MJ session again. played till 1am. was mad tired so quickly bathed and head to bed. den yesterday, didnt do much as SH decided to stay home cos we haven been home for quite long liao :x haha ! so, we only went JP for lunch cos i wanna get a haircut and ya my hair is at sh0ulder length now. very xin tong lo. but den my long hair has been irritating me cos i get damn hot easily now, so thought of getting sth short that wont make me irritate myself. home after that, rested till dinner time. and thats wad make me sibei sian about. like i mentioned i bought 0157. and yesterday's 4d 2nd price 7510 ! my mil won $4 while cos i bought only 0157 i win nth! sibei sian ttm lo ! 6k leh!!!!!! ohwell, guess that money isnt for me lah. ): told myself not to buy 4D liao. got lucky no. tell ppl can liao. they win they sure treat me 1. muahahaha ! not bad eh.. :x ok lah. shall end this post with a photo of my new wallet. i just love the colour of de wallet. soooo pretty lo !

2010-12-10T09:28:00.002+08:00

Its Friday already. *skipping around* I love the fact that weekends is here, I just hate workin lah. Sibei lazy now :x every morning i wake up asking if i can take mc. hahaha ! but i still drag myself to work. Anyway, we will be celebrating SH's sis birthday tml. gonna head to Goodwoods hotel for jap buffet. I know im not suppose to eat too much sashimi, shall try to control. hehe^^ and if SH dun need to go to work after lunch i shall head to ION's Samantha Thavasa. Mad love their cute stuff. mayb can like get a christmas gift for myself. But i doubt i will, needa start giving angbao to parents for their birthday and all. Angbao for SH's sis, Angbao for my mum, Lunch/Dinner treat for both SH's parents. cos their birthday all falls in Jan T.T den comes feb, I wonder if i need to give angbao.. cos some tradition dun need to give for the first year only 2nd year onwards. so i hope dun need to give yet. no bonus means no extra $ how to give angbao right ? :x ohwell, shall see wad SH has to say bah. (:

2010-12-09T09:11:00.003+08:00

Its finally Thursday (: 1 more working day and the weekend is here. Everyday, I look forward to the weekend. cos im like sooo lazy to work now. all i wanna do is sleep and nua around. :x oh well, for babytai must tahan lo. Airtickets for Genting/KL trip have been booked. im uber happy now. wanna get my ass out of singapore like NOW! will be gg to genting from 6-8jan den 8-9jan will be gg to KL. gonna eat&shop till i drop :x am still considering how much i shd change and all. mayb change alittle bit den bal use SH's $. muahahahah XD it would be my last holiday before babytai is out. Am looking very forward to it. (:

Edited : Decided to add in a photo of my tummy. so for friends that are interested, do come back on every week. shall try to do it a weekly thing. so as to see the growing process of my boy (:

Pregnancy Find out

2010-12-08T09:40:00.004+08:00

I decided to take some time off work and blog alittle.

Im sooo glad de wedding is over, and i could finally concentrate on my little boy. okie. i shall blog alittle bit about my pregnancy from start.

For the first mth of pregnancy i totally didnt suspect anything cos i thought i was still have puberty thats why im eatin sooooo much (-.- i know). hhahaha ! and so, cos i didnt had my mens in july i thought it was totally normal (fyi, my mens dun come every mth 1) and so, it didnt bother me until my aug mens also didnt come.

I wasnt bothered at first, but frens kept pressuring me to go take a test to be sure. Honestly, I still didnt want to waste my $ buyin a pregnancy kit thou it cost only 10$ :x but still i went to do it cos i wanted to prove to my frens that im not pregnant :x so on 20th September i went to clementi with my colleague just to get a kit to test. took de test and i started to clean up and all. den suddenly i saw 2 lines which means im pregnant.

I totally freaked out. honestly, i wasnt expecting to see de 2nd line. and so, i started shivering. de first thing that came to my mind was " what am i gg to do? ", " will MS wan to take responsibility? ", " how am i to tell my mum about this? " and bla bla bla. my mind was in confused state.

Cos that 2 mths when me & SH broke up i went clubbin every week. and got myself damn drunk EVERY SINGLE WEEK! so imagine the alcohol intake i took :x thank GOD he kept babytai safe in me (:

Firstly, I wanna say MS isnt the type dat dun take responsibility. its just that we just got back together for like 1 week plus and den suddenly tellin him he is the father ? Im glad i didnt anyhow went around sleepin with diff guys. or else i think i will panick as in who the father of my child is :x my colleague went to get another pregnancy kit for me just to be sure. while i started calling JY. her ans was ABORT. she kept sayin me and ms is not stable and all. but i was determined to keep de baby. I dunno why for that moment i didnt think of the giving birth pain and all. and was like so k-kiang wanna give birth to babytai even if ms dun wan de baby :x

had a discussion with MS, and that night he brought me to NUH suppose to see a gynae but the person was not around. took another pregnancy test and it was positive. 3 test and all positive how to be wrong right ?

we booked an appt with KKH on wed 22Sept2010. went to scan the baby and we saw a fetus, which means 100% liao. when i saw babytai's heartbeat i was like "awwww. theres a living thing in me." Told his parents about it, can see they were disappointed lah. but they kept asking if MS really wants this baby and all. Den, MS sis wanted to talk to us. She also asked MS to think it through if he wants to keep de baby and all. but of cos he cant take too long lah.

I was soooooo afraid he didnt want to keep de baby lo. and so, he thought it thru till fri. den we went to tell my mum. I was like soooooo bloody scared. all my frens were scared for me. cos my mum is the traditional type. how to accept this fact right ? but lucky MS was with me and he did most of the talking. HE WAS BRAVE~ and so, told my mum and of cos kenna say by her lah. but things already happen, theres nth much we can do about it and since we already decided to get married and all.

Thats when all the marriage preparation started.. and I started to have morning sickness and all. VERY BAD kind. but still, am glad its over (: I still cant believe i planned my wedding within 1 and a half mth with my BAD morning sickness and still everything went well. of cos SH helped alot. without him i would had broke down lo. im already in my 4th mth. and can feel babytai moving and his little kicks. its fun to actually feel him, but at the same time if he keeps moving i will feel pain. OH Well, its a kind of experience that most woman have to go thru. I kept telling myself if others can do it, I can too. I hope this will give me the strength to actually go thru my whole pregnancy (:

2010-12-07T14:36:00.003+08:00

Im super lazy to blog nowadaes. mayb due to babytai making me feel so tired and restless. Anyway. will upload photos only when im not tired :x if not photos can be view on fb (: will start to add up babytai's edd and all (:

Edited: Photos at the side at top have been changed. sth simple but yeah dun need to be too complicated i guess :x anyway, babytai's edd and all is also updated. lets look forward till his arrival (:

2010-11-24T16:19:00.002+08:00

I have been away from this blog for 1 mth ! haha. dun blame me lah. i am really very very tired and have been busy planning my wedding and all. Honestly speaking, I wont say its the eperfect wedding cos its only prepared within 1 and a half mth. so you cant expect much. but i would say, that im actually proud of Sweetheart & Myself. it arent easy for us. esp since SH needs to attend classes and work together. So im rather proud we were able to get our photoshoot done. gg down to the bridal shop numerous times. Doing invitation cards, sending it out to relatives and having to settle our Hotel arrangements. and i still haven include those small little things. like "Guo Da Li", our Malaysia wedding, choosing of bridal photos, fitting for my mum's gown, sister's dresses, flower girl dress & paige boy suit. We manage to find time to meet up with our emcee over the weekend and settled their speech. And for me, I met up with my sisters last night discussing about the games and tortures that will happen during the gate crash. Im so glad most of the stuff are done. but there are still certain item that is not done. like my flower girl basket & petals, Red umbrella, march in song, table arrangements, red wines and the list goes on. im left with 4 days and yet soo many not done. I seriously dunno how am i gg to settle all of the misc things. Mayb god will grand me superwoman power. HAHA! But I do hope that every1 that is attending my wedding will enjoy that night as much as i would. Cos its wad me & SH have been putting most of our free time on. Its a night that i would rmb for the rest of my life. With this i shall end this post. Will blog more once i have the time. which most prob be next week after im back from my wedding leave. I hope i will make time to change the aboved banner too. Cos i love my wedding photos. Im not tryin to be bei ba lah ! but de photos are indeed pretty lo. dun feel like its me. anyway stay tune (: will upload it when i have the time. Chaos~

2010-10-25T14:35:00.002+08:00

Been neglecting this blog again. I do visit my blog like everyday, but i just dunno what to say. lotsa stuff has been in my mind recently. Its due to 1 mistake that Im having him for the rest of my life. I totally agree its a mistake, i feel im tooo young. I finally figured out what i wanted in life, what i wanna do for my future. and just 1 mistake of ours, everything have to be put to a side for the time being. Honestly, thou I really love him. I still regret. I regret for meeting up with him even thou we have broken up. I regret contacting him despite me avoiding him almost everyday. I did everything to try to forget about us, but it pain me alot. that r/s left a deep scar in me. I wanted to just go on with my life, and let you go on with yours. but yet de stubborn part of me wants you back. I know its too late to regret, and the fact that you ARE indeed treatin me much better den you did when we were together. But I guess what you said were true, its easy to forgive some1 but hard to forget when that some1 you trusted hurt you. I admitted to my mistake and SWEAR i will never do it again. but of cos, how to trust right ? likewise, you hurt me before with all the awful words. and now, when those sweet little stuff you say to me makes me feel love but at the same time i wonder if its true words coming from you. I wanna thank you for all the really nice thing you have been doing for US( me&babytai ), all the daily reminders, all the naggings i got from you. Yes, its annoying at times but i know you care. I have been stayin at your place for 2 weeks and i really enjoy waking up every single day either you kissing me on the forehead before you leave for sch or you sleeping soundly beside me. And of cos, I love it that you are hugging me and cuddling me up to bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I do hope that you would continue do it even after our Marriage. I promise and swear that, that mistake will NEVER EVER HAPPEN again.

2010-10-14T15:03:00.002+08:00

Hello. Haven been blogging almost a mth. time flies. anyway the aboved set of nails is done by JY for my birthday last mth. she finally uploaded the pics thus the late post about it :x anyway, the nails are all still intact. EVERY SINGLE CRYSTALS AND EVEN DE RIBBON. but i just pulled out 1 ribbon 2 days back. cos it hook my hair which got me damn irritated. HAHA! this set was done on 5SEPT and its 14OCT now. imagine how good her skills are to let me have beautiful nails for 1 mth plus. Gonna head to her place for a new set today as im getting my wedding photoshoot done this sat. its gonna be a hectic day for me and SH. I hope it wont rain. and that the photoshoot will be a success. As most of my frens have known, im getting married next mth on the 28th Nov. and the venue will be Grand Hyatt Singapore. ROM & Dinner will be held there (: Im so excited yet nervous. Its gonna be a day i will rmb for the rest of my life. I do hope everything will go smoothly. I guess thats about it, cos im just tooo busy preparing the wedding stuff. and i have to meet my sisters sooooon to plan the games for the groom on my wedding day. wonder how mean they will get to make ms go thru the games. it will be fun (:

2010-09-22T18:37:00.001+08:00

I wont be blogging for the time being. cos there are some stuff i cant share and my whole mind and world is only thinking about it. dun bother coming to ask me. cos i wont say. if i would, i would had told you (: but dun worry im doing very good. so til the next time. GOOD BYE !

2010-09-17T16:13:00.002+08:00

I wonder if he does read my blog still, but yeah the following is for him (:

" Sweetheart, I may not be the most prettiest, smartest, caring, forgiving and independent gf you ever had. But 1 thing im sure. NO 1 loves you more den i do. including your ex-es. Im trying to make things work out. Im really changing and all just so things will turn out great. I dunno what is going to happen in the near future but YOU is who i wanmy future with. Im sure you are afraid - being dumped by your ex for another guy and den me almost leaving you for another guy when you were in army. I totally regretted for what had happened. AND I SWEAR IT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN AGAIN! Please give me your trust again ? I really trying to put everything behind us so that we can move on and start anew. Give me a chance will you ? I am deeply/madly in love with you. You will always be my Baby boy. ♥ "

Last night, went to Vivo with JH. dinner at Thai Express den to Awfully Chocolate for my "not so surprise cake" hahaha ! inside joke. anyway. had a piece den we went for movies. Going the distance. It is good - funny and touching.. I teared a little. After the movies. I cant imagine myself being in a long distance r/s its sucky and i wish i will NEVER have the need to go thru that. Afterall being apart from Sweetheart for 1 mth when he went for his ATEC mission was hell. So cant imagine myself being apart from my love one for a year. HAHA! Tonight gonna have dinner at Cedele with Ivan. den gonna head down to JY's to get my ribbon fixed ! its dirty and i just plucked it out today :x wahaha ! new ribbons for tonight. I have cravings for koi noooooow ! i wanna have my chocolate milk tea ): mayb i shd just head to bugis for koi before headin for my pedi session in FarEast :/ have to go 1 big round sia. FOR KOI !!! okie. thats about it. I hope every1 will have a good weekend ahead. Toddles~

2010-09-15T16:34:00.002+08:00

He asked some1 what is love.. and dat got me thinking.. what is LOVE to me ? and these are what i think love is.
- you just wish to spend those quality time with that person (Boring or not boring)
- for everything you have in mind, he/she is the first person you wan to share it with.
- wanna spend time with him/her.
- will do what it takes to make him/her happy.
- the emotion of your partner is what your emotion would be. (eg. if he is sad, you would be sad.)
- seeing the person makes you feel excited/happy
- respecting each other choices
- willing to understand why he/she makes certain decision.
- morally support for each other
- PATIENCE/TRUST/COMMUNICATION/FORGIVING

yeah.. these are the few reasons i could think of. Im willing to do so, mayb not all. but at least 3/4 of it. and this is how i know i do love him. cos i experience this. Im missing him every moment. even if i just met him 5 mins ago.. i would still miss him after he left. and every single thing that goes thru my mind, I would just wanan let him know. thou im sure he will get pissed thus i dun :x but yeah. he determines the emotion in me. A simple "i love you" would make be soo happy for that day, and a simple bo chup reply like "too bad." can make my whole world tumble for that day. and den a simple "sorry" makes it all up. Its funny how such little things could change an emotion of a person. Mayb cos im a very emotional person, but arent all virgos like this ? we take every little details into consideration - and this has its advantage and disadvantage. I seriously hope 1 day, I can actually do all the things that i have mentioned to that lucky guy which i hope will eventually be my husband. yeah.. with this i shall end my post. I LOVE YOU TMS since 26062009 (: never stopped and hopefully never will....

2010-09-15T13:29:00.002+08:00

IM DAMN FUCKING DULAN TTM!

2010-09-14T09:37:00.013+08:00

Eve of my birthday 08092010

A night at Phuture, Countdown to my birthday.they sang the birthday song twice. first at 11.30 den at 12am. but i was pretty much drunk at 12 that i cant rmb anything. that night was hell of a night. had 5shots, 1 jeggar, 2 mixes and a 5 sec mckellen how not to be drunk ? but overall it was a fun night with this group (:

Celebration with Coussy 10092010

Cebebrated my Belated birthday with Coussy (: they got me my fav Awfully Chocolate cake. and den after cake cutting they got me the balloons as a pressy. cos i didnt want soft toys :x had some great catch up with them you all are loved (:

Shaun's 911 birthday 11092010

Headed to Jy's place only at 5pm. den there we talked and all before heading to S's place. Walked to S's place only at 6+. helped out in the food and all. His SIM mates only arrived at 8pm. was kindda unhappy cos me,jy and joanna were like helping in the kitchen and when this SIM mate of S's came, he headed into the kitchen and asked " is dinner ready? im hungry." like please lor ! we are not your servant -.- anyway since its S's birthday we decided to keep our displease to ourselves. Things got better and we played some weird games. its fun lar. but i keep praying that i dun need to drink. am kindda afraid of alcohol now. :/ Overall i had fun that night. and yeah. before ending this celebration of S's, heres some photo of S and his SIM mate drunk. :x

...

....

Shaun

his SIM mate

My Birthday at Timbre 09092010

My beautiful nails done by JY and blinged camera done by Your truely (:

i love this photo lots.. ♥♥

They celebrated my birthday on the day itself. ALL of them made time for me. Agreed on going to Timbre as we could chill and have some chitchat session there.. LiveBand was good (: and yes, company was good too. took lotsa photos. more on FB. we had a whole night of fun till in the wee morning before Martin send us home. thanks for the cake and your company.. APPRECIATED. You guys made me sooo HAPPY and HIGH dat nice. with all the jokes. its no wonder why I want to meet you all again. Guess the next time will be end of this mth or next mth bah. its hard to get a group to have a day together :x but im sure we will figure out sth (:

And with this i end my birthday week. More photos can be found in fb. I love My birthday celebration thou without a BF. but i feel all the love my frens are giving.. A BIG BIG Thank you to all of you. YOU guys&girls made me so HAPPY. I still have some frens that will be meeting me for dinner this week and next. Thank you in advance.. okie. shall end it here. Mayb i will blog tml or sth.. BYE for now..

2010-09-08T12:47:00.003+08:00

Aww. its Wednesday and its the Eve of my Birthday. Am sooo hungry now, but due to the rain i cant leave office to head out for my lunch ): waiting for Pamela to tabao Pastamania for me.. Yum-meh ! I hope time pass FAST! I want dinner and party to come fast fast. hee. So excited, but yet dun wanan put in too much hope just in case i get disappoint again :/ If im early at his place today I would try to get photos up on fb and here. photos me&bestie took at ITfair, photos of my sec sch mates & a few with JY. The rest are with her.. Shall wait till she blogs about it den i can "steal" the photos. hehe. >.< okie. i dun have anything in mind now cos Im freaking hungry I only want to eat :x.

and just to add on,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARTIN WANG
You turn 25 today. I hope you would do well in future and that everything will go smoothly for you (: Dun keep thinking of the negative side of life. and seriously, instead of thinking every1 hates you why not try to just love every1 and so 1 day they will love you back. I dun expect you to reply anything from this. but yes, I sincerely wish you all the best (:

2010-09-07T15:19:00.002+08:00

Its 7th of Sept. My birthday celebration is starting from today onwards. Gonna head out with JH to vivo dinner & Hunted Changi (: i heard its funny, i do really need to laugh :x den tml after work having dinner with "his" parents, after that meeting Carl to phuture. First time clubbing with him and his frens. gonna countdown to my birthday ! Im turning TWENTY! old bitch liao :x den on my birthday itself, im gonna have lunch at home before meetin Theodora and Shermie. think Martin, ZhiXiang, Weitian and Daniel will be coming after that. Awww. we shd be out till late. Since Fri is a public holiday too. While for Friday im headin out with my 2 cousins for lunch and den meeting pam in the evening. (still not confirm thou) Sat, having lunch with JS and den after that have to head to JY's place to do some cooking for S's birthday.. Den come sun, was suppose to meet bestie for JB trip but it was cancelled. thus Im meetin JS to sentosa? not sure also, he say he wanna go underwater world. hopefully i wont get toooo tired from all these activities. i still have many unplanned dinner for next week. Im sucha busy baby these few days. but im happy about it. at least im sure my friends love me more den he did. (:

2010-09-06T17:33:00.002+08:00

Last weekend was a packed packed weekend. Didnt went home after work, had a little small catch up plus treat for my birthday from Babe. Im still waiting for my Coach Wrislet. wonder how it looks like :x and so, after that i headed to Pampela's place. bum awhile and caught Sex In The City 2. its my countless time of watching that. went home at 1+am. wanted to wait for Jerrel to finish work and head for breakkie. but i fell asleep. :x next morning woke up dying to have Mac breakkie but yet lazy to get it. JH was kind to drive to the mac near my place just to get me Deluxe Breakkie. ♥♥ He headed home after that, prepared and he came back to fetch me and bestie to IT Fair. but before that a trip to bugis for koi craving :x bought like 8 cups for coussy and frens. He helped me carry that heavy bag of koi(s) anyway Went to find J and guess wad? S was workin with J. I was soooo shocked, for a moment i froze. if some1 tooka photo of me it would have been EPIC ! like seriously, i just froze there. anyway was damn ps ! had a quick chat and left to deliver the koi(s), after all those. i wanted to look for a new viva casing. mine is chui to the max. but den BB Bold 9700 SOLD OUT! thats how popular it is :/ sian 1/2 and we left for East Coast cos JH was hungry. after his dinner. he sent me and bestie to west coast for Gilson's birthday. Had sooo much laughter with the guys, and they were sweet to cook for us. (: left at 9.30 went home changed and headed to Phuture to meet Edward. it was his birthday. IT WAS BORING! fucking dulan. left at 3.30 cabbed to Mac at Clarke Quey due to the rain. Saw my colleague, Justin DRUNK! funny shit. home at 5am. remove make up and all. slept only at 6am. Sunday- woke up at 10am. snooze until 10.45am jumped out of bed and headed to prepare.. I was suppose to meet Fiona at 12pm. :/ and the bloody train was having some disruption so had to bus from JE to Clementi -.- which wasted half an hour of my time. reached TPY only at 1.10pm. bought koi and headed to JY's place. Fiona did her nails first. and after seeing how nice the little ribbon she had. i decided to have 1 of it on my nails tooo. did an overlay with airbrush lace, 3D flowers, BLING BLING & 4D ribbon. I have like chio nails now. (: *happy* after finishing with my nails, JY went to prepare. head out for our first meal ! had pasta at taka, 1 of my fav dining place. CHEAP + GOOD! A birthday treat from her.. after dinner we left for Cine, Bought our Tickets for Pigeon Stool. GOOD Show ! after that sent JY back and headed home. had such a lovely day with her, thou short but ya. love it. Will be meetin her this sat for S's birthday. (: and that roughly conclude my weekend. ♥

link to JY's nail blog : http://www.thistlebellenail.blogspot.com
Im not tryin to say that she is good cos she is my fren. but as every1 that knows me, i am very particular on my nails. if i dislike it, i can just immediately remove it the moment i leave. but ya. so far JY has done a great job on my nails. and i LOVE it (: will post the photo of my nails as soon as JY postes it online ! till den, xoxo.

2010-09-03T23:32:00.007+08:00

ZhiLian photos :x

Birthday Celebration

Some photos to entertain my readers. My first Birthday Celebration with LiLingbabe. haven seen her for quite long, thus lotsa catching up to do. We chat quite alot, but i think i had more problems den her ): i hope everything would end soon. feeling damn xinku.

2010-09-03T10:20:00.002+08:00

Im suppose to be busy doing my monthly report now. but I wanna blog sth before heading to get things done. Last night, I had a little chat with "him". and he told me this, "you are between my fren and gf" I was quite confused over what he meant. whats "between fren and gf ?" In my mind, the only thing i can come up with are Fuck Buddy and Fling. he wants to be more den fren but yet dun wan to be in a r/s which means he wanan do everything like a normal couple would do without any commitment. Am i wrong to say this ? Correct me if im wrong, but after last night. I actually realise how important am i to him. He said that he didnt treat me as 1, but from the way he put things and how he actually act. Its no wonder i would think this way, Next week will be the last week/chance i would give. As after last night's conversation, I felt devastated. No one would understand how painful I felt unless you have been through it. I guess I am dumb, soooo dumb that I actually willing to forgive him. When I was all alone in my room last night, I finally realise I should just wait. Wait for some1 that is willing to love me whole heartedly. Wait for some1 that wants to have me in their life instead of me waiting to get into his and him using me. taking advantage of my goodness. Girls like me ought to be given a tight slap to wake up from such guys. yeah. so that roughly ends what I wanna say for my feelings.

Today is finally Friday, am gonna head out to have lunch with JH and Pamela. After that Im gonna stay home tonight. YES! Im gonna stay home. Wanna save money so no more clubbing. Tml, am gonna head to bugis for KOI den to IT Fair, gonna be a delivery Girl delivering KOIs to fellow junoirs and Cousin. Wanna try to do some shopping for sandels. My sandels damn chui already. Gilson turns 20 tml, gg to his BBQ at WestCoastPark with Bestie and other Sec sch mates. Haven seen those boys for like years ? they are always sooo busy. hopefully tml will be a good night (: den comes Sunday, Meeting Fiona at TPY station at 12pm. gonna get koi before headin to JY's place. Fiona is getting her pedi done, while me... Im doing either overlay/extensions.. My Birthday nails ! yippee!! haven got my nails done since CNY. so ya, shall pamper myself (: I hope you all would have a gooood weekend too!

2010-09-02T09:45:00.002+08:00

Im considering purchasing the aboved Maxi.

but i dunno if I would use it often. but it looooks super pretty. :/

anyway. Its Exactly 1 week to B'day.

Tell me it will come and end fast. I dun wanna suffer.

the last thing I would wan is to cry on the day itself.

hurting has been quite a long process for me.

And surprisingly, My last r/s has a BIG impact on me.

I dunno how to trust some1.

how could I not find some1 just to replace him in my life.

Im really trying my best.

but despite what every1 had told me " is it worth it to go back to him? "

I still say " YES."

but im still quite uncertain. uncertain of what he is thinking.

What does his every action means.

Im a virgo, And i take every single detail into consideration.

which to some ppl - I think too much.

Life still goes on, and im still hoping to be able to step out of this pit.

Its gonna be 2 mths since we broke up.

I wonder how long will I stay in this state. and am i able to pick myself up?

I wan to be firm with my decision.

And when that day comes, I hope he will regret this.

Cos by den, I would have gone on and find my own happiness.

but for now, i shall just stay in the misery he had equipped me in. ):

2010-09-01T17:09:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I was browsing thru blogshops and all.

and decided to head over to Eileen's blogshop to have a look.

Immediately after browsing thru the collections.

I fell in love with the aboved high waist shorts.

I am soo into white recently, but white was sold out.

couldnt decide what to get, was like asking eileen which is better and all.

and she told me. both also nice. -.-

In de end i said ok. den she add on..

E:" anyway you dun need to transfer the $ to m, its your birthday gift."

Me:" cannot lar. everytime you treat me eat den now give me clothes ?"

E:" nvm nvm, its your early birthday present."

Me:" awwww. THANKS BABE."

E:" I shall treat you to a birthday meal the next time we meet."

Me:" dun need treat lar. Meet me can liao."
i feel so loved by all of these girls that i have known.

thou not for long. but ya. they treat me very good. always listenin to my rantings.

Gonna Meet JY this Sunday for my birthday nails. (:

after that a birthday treat from her...

Thank you BOTH. ♥ ♥

And just so if you girls wants the link to the blogshop.

http://herwalkincloset.livejournal.com/

2010-08-30T17:05:00.003+08:00

Hello. Finally back from the hectic weekend.

planned soo much stuff (:

Friday, I went drinking with J and i brought JH along.

he was afraid i got too drunk to go home.

hahahha! well, i wasnt even high that night :x

ended only at 3am. and we went to JurongWest for supper.

Saturday, I woke up at 9am. prepared and all.

and headed to ShangriLa for Brunch.

when he peeled the prawns&crab for me.

it reminded me of the days we got together.

and for that day. i felt we were together again. its just a dream that felt real.

We were tooo full and skipped dinner.

Rested till 10.30pm before heading for Yishun Dam.

Cos My Surprised Celebration was crashed by him cos he found out.

I made a Birthday Card on a BIG board for him.

printed the photos of him and army frens and of cos ME! haha :x

Lucky he didnt expect to receive that.

but he thought it was Shaun that did it. kindda break my heart.

Cos i have been doing up cards and letters for him for the past 1 year -.-

anyway, Im glad everything went well.

Me & Carl did a last min card for Winnie too.

Am glad she loved it. loove to see ppl smile (:

photos of them with their card.

thats about it. This ends my weekend.

Today is "HIS" actual birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TMS,

please do your parents proud. Study hard. (:

and to Winnie,

Happy Birthday Babe..

Shall see you tml for dinner :) you know i love you.

and den, now i hope next week will be a breeze.

i do not want to celebrate my birthday. it pains me just by thinking of it.

Tears just rolls down when i wan to celebrate it.

i dun wanna be emo and i wanna sooo much to celebrate that special day.

but i dun think i could ):

Weitian ask me to acc her to JB to get her nails done.

Im so glad to be out of Singapore. dun wanna face reality. I guess im afraid.

IM A COWARD. :(

2010-08-28T16:08:00.005+08:00

Decided to Add some photos. more can be found in FB.
shall get alittle nap. slept for only 4hrs last night :/
*photos are not arranged :x

2010-08-27T17:24:00.002+08:00

1 last post before i happily leave the office (:
Gonna head home to prepare a surprise birthday card for this babe.
A last min thingy.. oh well. i will be happy to see 1 more person smiling.
will post the photo of the end product soon !
Catching "Grown Ups" at JP tonight.
hopefully it would be a good show.. Am lookin forward to it.
and so, Weekend is here again.
Im sure it gonna be a blast (:
with sooooo many activities lined up.
oh ya. Last night I went to Bugis with my Colleague, Pamela
such a nice babe. treated me to 2 cups of koi.
and i treated her to ILOVETAIMEI.
we had kway chup for dinner. and had sooo much to talk about.
guess cos we are of same age ?
I desperately need a part time job soon.
I want all these thinkings to be buried away. and that i would have more moo lah.
feeling super poor already.
i wanna buy sooo many pretty clothes but resisted ):
aww. I wanna head to Forever 21 soooooon.
thou i usually dun get anything from there. but i looooove browsing thru.
Anyway i got like sooo many BC & HH loots that had not arrived.
so im tryin to control my spending and not get anything for myself.
unless me Daddy gives me a BIG red packet for my birthday.
if not. im gonna TRY TO CONTROL! (:

2010-08-26T09:11:00.002+08:00

Awww.. Its Thursday already.
This week pass in a breeze.
finished all my shitty work yesterday.
So yes i can prepare for the weekends. YAY!
this week seem to be 1 busy week for me.
had to do so many invoices and clearing all docs to prepare for monthend.
but im glad. PAYday is here.
Tml, hopefully me and JH could find a slot to watch GrownUp.
his been dying to watch that show.
after movies I may head over to BoatQuey for a drink with J.
still considering lar. I have a beer tummy already ):
Sat gonna head over to "his" place. Brunch at Shangri-La
Ippudo for dinner. and lastly the failed attempt surprise celebration.
hopefully everything goes smoothly.
Will try to get all photos in my camera and load it onto FB.
please be patience.. hahaha ! :x
Currently i have nth on. on Sun. But im sure sth will just pop up.
hahaha ! its like finally his birthday next week. and mine exactly 2 weeks from now.
May we be able to carry on and make a difference in our life (:
oh ya. to mention. I only have 1 Birthday wish this year...
and to all the celebrations i would be having.
i will just make this 1 wish.
but i wont be saying it out. cos i really wish it would come true (:

2010-08-25T13:43:00.002+08:00

As I step into office today, I rmbed how much work I need to finish by end of today.
Chiong everything. didnt want to stay back just to complete all these.
Im finally done with all the shitty Cheques and invoices.
But its all these that makes me realise. Its Monthend again.
and its only Monthend that i would be soooo busy.
Aug is coming to an end. and normally for the past xx of years. i would have been happy.
like super happy. cos September, it actually means my birthday is reaching.
But for this year, somehow somewhat im not happy.
I didnt want to celebrate it even.
But i wanna meet up with frens i lose contacts with for soo many years.
I am not sure why such thinking is loitering in my mind.
It mayb cos, I feel old ? its like i have a HUGE responsibility over my life.
I have to think and plan of my future.
and i keep seeing strands of white hair growing.
Getting more and more paranoid about growing old :x
and den, comes the reason. I wanna celebrate it with him.
planned it. but yet, things seem to turn around.
I do hope my frens could replace him just for this year.
hopefully by next, i would have already found the "special" some1 (:
okie lar. enough of craps. shall continue with my shitty works.

2010-08-24T16:23:00.002+08:00

Its tues. and im ultra tired.
due to last night's drinkin session.
reached home only at 2am - DRUNK!
but ya. decided to lessen all such activities.
I wanna club less and drink less.
so in order to do so. i agree to Pamela's request.
which is to find a part time job for the weekend and work for extra bucks.
I hope i could pull it thru thou.
the last time i worked for 1 mth without rest.
i got seriously sick.
hopefully with the not so heavy work i do on weekdays.
would do me good for the weekends !
I wanna save up for the followings :
-Macbook
-Studies
-Holiday trip to Aust and Taiwan.
If i could have this 3 wishes coming true. I would just love my life to the max. (:
wanna put all r/s problems aside.
I do feel lonely at times cos i wished that there is this special some1 to be there.
but ya, for now. i shd concentrate for my FUTURE !

2010-08-23T09:02:00.002+08:00

Photos are taken from JY's camera.

On sat, was bbm-ing JY when happen she was coming to Jurong for her shoot.

got all so excited and went down to meet her.

I realise how frens come and go.

knew this babe like 1 year back thru felicia.

she used to be my manicurist and thats when our friendship started blooming.

I believe we gto closer after the PR course incident.

den to my Break Up. she was there for me.

willing to hear my rantings, cryings and everything despite her busy schedule.

And it so happen we both have the same initials.

LJY-LimJunYing & LeeJiaYu.

how nice eh..

Am so glad that thou the father aboved took away sth so precious.

but den gave me sooo many more.

JY, Thanks for being there for me. (:

(and thanks for intro-ing "him" to me - HAHA! :x)

2010-08-18T09:06:00.003+08:00

Updates before i start my leave (:
and so last night after work i went straight home.
bought dinner and had a slooooow dinner.
its been so long since i actually stayed home for 1.
ppl that knows me well will know why.
Den at 8pm. got a call from JH.
he wanna catch the movie Aftershock.
We rushed down to Vivo at 8.30pm
got our tickets and headed to get dessert at the HK shop.
loooove the mango dessert there. i just love sweet stuffs. hehe !
had to rush alittle cos the dessert came late.
We went in just in time for the show.
its a not bad show i must say. cried in some of the scenes.
show ended. and we head for supper.
went home at 1am. was soooooo tired !
My morning started out well. until i received a bbm.
and i got all so emo again. I hope my day will get better.
tonight will be a GOOD GOOD night (:
Virgin Trip to Ladies night. hear soooo many comments and all
and yes, Im into Army guys now. esp Commandos. :x
i just loove to see guys in Uniform. haha !
shd be infected by seeing tooo many army guys last time.
ah well. Lets hope i can pull it thru the whole night (:

P.S: You were the cause that made the NOW me.
you knew i nv club alot. i would occasionally pester you to bring me.
but you know it deep down i wouldnt go if you didnt.
You asked me not to club & drink too much.
but have you ever asked WHY am i doing all these?
do you know how much pain you had inflicted me with ?
Let me just say it clearly.
I dunno if you rmb this, But at that moment of time. I was having some problems at home.
I told you I needed you by my side.
I wanted you to care for me. and just leave the break up aside till my home stuff are settled.
but yet, you didnt. day by day. you told me you wanna break up.
day by day you simply hurt me with the words that comes out from your mouth.
You assured me you will be there. AS A FREN.
you think i dun have enough frens to be there?
Honestly speaking, whether or not you are my fren. it doesnt really matter.
I needed you as a support, a PARTNER that is willing to be there.
you explained saying you were here.. I dunno how i shd explain this to you.
thus i came up with this.
I loved you with all my heart, I trusted you my life.
but you destroyed it. BOTH my heart and life.
NOTHING you do can change the fact of what had happened.
YOU actually scared me ! and to make it worst.
Im actually afraid to get into a r/s. As much as i would like to find another partner.
Im still afraid he will treat me like what you did.

2010-08-17T09:33:00.003+08:00

Its Tuesday already ! YAY!
1 more working day and im gonna have my loooooong weekend (:
went home straight after work cos i was real tired.
Im quite busy despite me having my off.
Managed to psycho Rena to Phuture for tml night !
and on thurs i would be meeting James for movies and dinner.
but its to be confirm.
and on fri, I will be meeting Keith for Mac breakfast.
den gonna meet JH for dinner at town.
he needs a listening ear (:
A will be meeting us at a later timing.
Supper and Kite Flying !!
I pray that this time it wont be disrupted.
everytime i wanna fly kite sure got problem 1.
so ya, hopefully it wont rain and the dear boys would bring me there.
I feel like a little baby sister to them.
they always pamper me and let me decide on things.
but they always make fun of me -.-
Sat, i guess i wont be gg out early. meeting JH & A at night.
i rmb saying i boycott Rebel.
but ya, they managed to psycho me there for this weekend.
I pray it wont disappoint me.
its gonna be a long weekend with semi-packed schedules. (HAHA!)
so ya, hope everything will go as planned !
oh ya. to add on. Pamela-my colleague asked me if i wan to work on sat and sun with her.
She say it will do me good from all the thinkings i had.
i dunno if i shd. Im afraid i would break down if i were to work for 7days a week.
shd i or shd i not ?

I was glad you still cared. with those words that you said.
I will drink less. thou i know you said so as a normal fren.
but im more den happy already. ♥

2010-08-16T13:12:00.003+08:00

Wanted to post this up. but nv seem to find the chance.
found this in 1 of the blog i would read. i enjoyed it. hope you guys would too.
(esp to the 1person I care the most. I wan to know that you are smiling more den emo-ing)

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight,
the man called the women a “bitch” and the women called the man a “bastard”.
Their son walked in and said “What does bitch and bastard mean?”
and the parents replied “ladies and gentlemen”.
The next day the parents decided to have sex,
the women said “feel my titties” and the man said “feel my dick”.Their son walked in and asked “What does titties and dick mean?”
and the parents replied “hats and coats”.
On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, “Shit” he said,
the kid came in and asked “What’s that mean”
and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.
Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey,
and she cut herself, “Fuck” she said.
Once again the kid asked “What’s that mean”
the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.
Then the door bell rang.
The kid answered the door to his relatives and said
“Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet,
my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face,
and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!

2010-08-16T08:57:00.002+08:00

Friday night was a night to rmb.
Drinking seems to be a weekly thing for me now.
and to those that knows me.
i would have said its the best thing to numb the pain im having.
and so, Friday I met JinHuan at JP.
wanted to have Mac for dinner, but the Mac was closed !
headed to have LJS instead.
after that we kindda walked to Arena Country Club.
Walked half way and JH was complaining. so we took a bus instead.
We started drinking.. till about 11.30pm. Arthur came to join us.
I cant rmb wad time we left. but JH & myself were too drunk.
Woke up early on Sat morning.
Packed my stuffs and headed out to meet Jonathan at Orchard.
Simun was otw there with YaLing.
so i met the girls for lunch at FEP.
we talked so much... parted ways about 2.30pm.
J and I walked to *Scape. while we were there we saw Click5
and i think 1 of the guy is urber cute !! dunno whats his name thou.
headed to Cine to collect our tickets.
I was so tired i told J i wanna sleep. haha !
slept for about 45mins. it wasnt enough. i was tooooo tired for the day
Watched Love in Disguise. A must watch show.. (:
its actually very funny ! ya. you saw it. its FUNNY! hahaha.
i was like beating J up. really bth. :x
After movies, i left for Vivo. needed to get cake for TianJie's birthday.
Bryan was at Carl's Junior thus i met him for alittle while.
Headed to Awfully Chocolate to get the cake i ordered.
Left for Sentosa. (:
Photos of the event will be up on fb pretty soon i hope :x
We had our little Foam party at the Personal Jacuzzi.
had lotsa fun.. and den Sun came.
Every1 was shagged out. Me and Christina headed to JP.
met up with JH and had PepperLunch for lunch.
First time eating it. and it tasted good.
will eat that again sooooon. haha !
headed home and slept for 4hrs.
watch alittle tv. A came to fetch me and JH to Chomp's
had supper and dessert. After that we head to Labrador Park.
Talked so much rubbish.
this 2 guys nv fail to make me laugh with their LAME jokes.
thou often they would make fun of me.
but ya, i still love their company..
reached home at 1.30am. wanted to sleep.
but turn and toss till 2.30 den i fell asleep :/
and today morning. i had a hard time waking up.
Lucky me, I still woke up in time. and came on time (:
will be working from Mon-Wed.
Thurs and Fri is my off day.. im like soooo happy !
gonna look forwad to my long weekend (:

2010-08-13T08:52:00.002+08:00

I guess its really impossible between the 2 of us.
I wanted how much to be there when you needed some1.
but yet, i guess i would only fall deeper and hurt myself in the end.
I know you have made things clear.
that we cant be together and all. but i still hold on hoping that you would change your mind.
things started out fast, which is why im trying to slow everything down.
but when i found out you were like avoiding me.
i was kindda pissed. :x
didnt we agreed to take things slowly ?
why did everything turned out this way ?
i know you are not ready.
but ya. i guess this really put a full stop to everything.
I still hope we could be frens and all. (:
And please be strong!
(you shd know who you are. dun wanna put names)

2010-08-12T10:07:00.002+08:00

Today is yet another busy day for me :/
Shall just do a little update before i start burying myself with those doc.
Went home after dinner last night.
watch a little tv, sms, bbm & msn..
all the conversation topic are about the same.
friends asking how am i. if i need a shoulder they are willing to be there and all.
i felt that they were really sweet to ask me once in awhile.
and willing to here all my rantings.
Dun ask me why but i loooove to rant.
be it work stuff, family stuff or even BGR stuff
am glad they dun get bored of it also. haha!
and so, last night i was smsing and bbming half way
but i guess i was soooo tired i fell asleep within 2 mins !
it took me 2mins to fall asleep.
woke up with a shock. had so many notification on my phone.
wasnt able to reply anything, de moment i woke up
but i browsed thru every single msg.
I know every single 1 of you, lovelies wants me to be strong.
to be able to stand up and be the little HAPPY me.
but its quite hard, esp since i always wanted to be loved.
to those that are close to me, I believe you would have know what happen when i was young.
and my family problems and all.
thus all these problems made me want some1 to love me.
i longed for all those love.
some asked me why am i so desperate ?
reason: you dunno how much and what i have been thru.
and theres a reason why i didnt want to say.
I dun need ppl to pity me. thus i only say to ppl i trust and feel comfortable with.
but ya, told myself to get the emo-ness out of me.
blog-emo fb-emo twitter-emo.
hahahaha ! i know every1 is bored of my emo-ness.
shall snap out of it okie ?
Miss Sunshine is coming back (thats what he always call me HAHA!)
Tml is friday already.. gonna go BQ with JH.
den Sat movies with J. At night gonna head to Sentosa with Weitian (:
Im so excited for my little weekend getaway.
thou its only Sentosa. but i haven really been there for a very long time already.
Midnight swimming has always been our Fav thing
when we are at Siloso Beach Resort.
But alll im praying is that i wont experience any weird stuff when im there.

2010-08-11T12:23:00.003+08:00

The following post is posted cos i need a place to rant.
and i wanan rant out my anger..
Recently, I am able to keep my anger to myself.
but i would spam my blog,twitter&fb with all those anger-ness. HAHA!
and it does work. it actually makes me feel better (:
So ya, if you find it irritating/annoying. PLEASE EXIT!
thanks (:

Why is it that ppl love annoying me when im having a foul mood ?
Today didnt start out good.
woke up feeling totally moodless.
went to the bus stop waited for almost 20 mins before it came.
was later den usual.
Pamela&I walked faster into the building
i can just say we are damn suay !
of all time, Our BIG boss came :/
and he was behind us.
we told each other we were dead.
expected to get scolded already.
but ya, still hoping we wouldnt.
i had lotsa stuff to get done with.. and quickly got it done.
while doing so, i have ppl calling me to complain..
HELLO ?! if you wanna complain i dun mind listening.
but must you scold me ?
i dun owe you anything you know ?!
and so. my mood got worst upon receiving my lecture.
and now, i have that BITCH telling what me what im suppose to tweet.
HELLO! I want to tweet also must follow how you want me to tweet is it ?
you can just unfollow me if you dislike or find it annoying.
I dun really give a damn.
oh well. i just find it damn irritating to know that such ppl exist.
i hope everything would be better after i have my lunch later on..

edited:
Its funny how some ppl would take a r/s as a joke.
some1 told me this today.
his fren likes this guy and thinks she have fallen for him.
but in actual fact she is engaged and the guy himself is engaged to another girl.
I'm quite disgusted by such ppl.
why would you fall for some1 else if you have already decided to marry some1 ?
is getting divorce a simple thing to do ? just cos you dun like/love the other party ?
I think i will only feel this way just cos i got dumped recently.
thou he may not have left me cos of another party.
but den no1 knows lar. mayb he already had some1 in mind.
(thats what all my frens say)
Is Love still available on earth now ?
Is there couples that would stay truthful and faithful to each other?
I dun expect every1 to have a perfect r/s
but i guess its just not right to cheat on the other party.
I did it before, and felt sooooooo guilty that i swear it will nv happen again.
oh god, dun ppl have any guilt ?

2010-08-10T12:33:00.002+08:00

I keep getting nagged for my banner aboved.
and so i decided to do a new banner.
did sth simple. but den my html screwed up.
and now. i cant seem to find my photo :/
so for the time being.
there wont be any banners.
haha ! will redo my whole blog skin soon soon !
tahan alittle (:

edited:
Thanks to my smartness :x
everything is back to normal.
im so glad. didnt want to spend 4 hrs on a blogskin again.
tiring ! but i still dunno why my banner is soo small.
but better den nth.

2010-08-09T15:53:00.002+08:00

Some picture post to keep my blog a little colourful.
These were taken at the YOG Rehearsal
nth much but ya. its still okie leh.
not in the mood to blog too much after seeing some status.
i dunno why but ya, totally not in the mood right now.

2010-08-06T10:46:00.003+08:00

Its Friday Its Friday *skipping around*
Finally, A day i am looking forward to for the whole week.
thou party is cancelled im still gonna enjoy my weekends (:
anyway! I had a hair cut last night at Storm.
i find it super ugly, cos my hair is like super thin.
like some chao ah lian :x
but den every1 says it looks better make me feel more fresh.
and S mentioned i look sweeter. awww..
Gonna have a long weekend ahead.
and den will be having another good weekend next week !
oh what fun im gonna have at sentoooooosa !
i wanna catch the sun rise. so excited !
been years since i last saw 1.
MS used to say its stupid and boring.
but let me tell you, its ROMANTIC!
so YES, im gonna catch it. Some1 promised to wake me up XD
i believe aug is gonna end in a breeze.
cos i have so many things lined up. and very soon.
its my BIRTHDAY!
i cant believe i gonna turn TWENTY! makes me feel so old ):
but den im still looking forward to my TWENTY FIRST !
taiwan trip with the girls.
bet its gonna be a fun fun trip (:
i cant wait to go taiwan's club... TAIWAN guys are HOT! *drool..*
okie enough of all this shit.
Happy National Day PPL!
enjoy the fireworks with your loveones.
while for me, i shall enjoy it myself i guess ? :x
nah, i believe i will enjoy it with frens.

Edited:
decided to blog this. i know im bitching about some1 behind her back.
but ya, im pretty annoyed by your fb comments, twitter and i cant believe i actually read your blog.
my r/s have ended and i guess you are pretty much very happy.
I am doing well with my life. and you dun really need to care?
so what if im dating different guys everyday ?
is it of your concern ? and im really curious on why you keep bitchin about me.
is it cos you are so bored ? your life is pretty much boring ?
thus you start saying stuffs about me ?
i guess i shd be honored. haha !
1 thing i have learnt is that. with all these hurtful comments.
it made me stronger.
it made me to have determination.
and last but not least it actually made me move on.
Yes, and if you ever see this. and i mentioned IF den good.
cos you are 1 2 headed creature which is of cos SCARY!
but i often believe in karma. and im sure sth like this will happen to you.
All the best in dealing with it BITCH!

2010-08-04T13:37:00.002+08:00

To those that comes here often.
did a little changes in my profile section.
you will notice sth is amiss.
i do hope to put up a new 1 soon (:
or mayb in a couple of mths time.
while for the banner on top.
i will try to figure out sth okie ?
i have stop thinking about him.
so don worry..
but i nv expect to remove it ever since i got it up.
wadeva lar. its the past. SAYONARA !
and HELLO to my future.
(hopefully things will work out)

2010-08-03T10:01:00.003+08:00

Its funny how i could actually start talkin to him.
I still rmb 2 weeks ago. i was cryin and all.
but now, i can talk to him like a normal fren.
oh well. life goes on i guess.
Im still glad he is willing to talk to me.
and we could still be frens.
Our last trip to bkk is still unconfirmed.
due to the recent bombing at bkk, his parents are alittle scared.
and is monitoring the situation.
hopefully things will get better.
i need a break from singapore.
find the real me, and get me out of the misery.
im starting to pull myself together again.
to actually want to stand up and find my MR RIGHT
im not gonna give up just cos i failed.
and yes, im sure i changed so much after this r/s
THANK YOU TMS.
you were the 1 that make me did so much.
changed me so much.
from the little hot tempered baby to some1 that could understand things.
from the little fussy eater to some1 that dun mind tryin before disliking it.
from the little baby of me to some1 that could think like an adult.
ya. i guess this was the 3 major issue about me
that would made our r/s turned out this way.
i wont say i regret for not changing early. but would thank you instead.
at least you made me realise life is full of surprises.
i never knew this side of me would come.
but ya. love is a powerful thing.
hopefully i wont go back to the old me.
and my new r/s would get better. (:
Last but not least,
I still do not regret being with you even if i knew this was to happen.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH !
P.S: please at least tag/bbm me if you do read this. so that i know you read this post (:

2010-08-02T10:11:00.002+08:00

I hate weekdays..
having the monday blues.
haven been feeling well since last night?
feel like puking and all.
but ya, hope it gets better..
gonna meet Val (:
like finally ! haven seen her since Jan i guess ?
cant rmb ! but super long !
gossip session, BGR talks...
oh well. miss those days.
tonight i gonna tell her sth..
sth she told me about myself.
and i cant believe she is so right about this.
lets hope she can give me a good advice about it.
lalala~ and im not tellin any1 about it.
hahahahaha !
wadeva lar. i just wanna get well (:

2010-07-30T09:55:00.002+08:00

its friday, and i was happy till i came to work.
totally pissed me off.
my pants were like half wet.
and den my blown dried hair was wet too.
pissed the ass out of me :x
tryin to be not so pissed.
last night outing with JY and S was fun.
thou i emo-ed for awhile.
but i think things will get better.
after all. i am loved by so many ppl (:
there is so many things i wanna do.
so many places i wanan go.
mayb being single isnt that bad afterall.
but i really wonder if i could stay single for long.
it has been years since i actually stayed single for more den 2 mths.
never liked being alone.
we shall see. haha !
the weekends are approaching.
im gonna have hell lotsa fun !
oh ya. im trying my best to come up with a new banner.
but i need a laptop soon to get that done.
mac or a normal laptop ?! can some1 advice me on this ?
im a noob in IT stuffs -.-

2010-07-27T13:20:00.002+08:00

okie. i have abandoned this space for almost a week now.
SORRY! have been ultra busy.
last weekend, fri and sat was fun !
met so many new frens and all (:
but on sun. i kindda died.
haha ! nua on the bed till 7pm. Imagine that...
yesterday, had to drag myself out of bed to work.
it started bad, but ended pretty well.
went to far east to get my nails fix.
Christina dear came to find me.
had dinner with me. and trained to lakeside.
JH came to fetch us from lakeside to a pub near my place.
didnt know there is 1 till last night :/
and so, we drank till about 11.30pm.
asked JH to go back first. cos he sounded no interested in supper.
me and Christina headed to MAC for supper.
den, JH smsed me. say why i bo jio.
sorry dude. i thought you were not interested. haha !
but you did enjoy your maggi *opps*
and so, after that. christina dropped me near my place and went home.
This morning woke up feeling so happy.
had a dream.. its a good 1.
its *you* in it. but ya. doubt it matters.
im happy thou its not real. cos for the past few week.
i dreamt we broke up and all. and it happened.
so ya, lucky its a good dream (:
still feeling ultra happy. was suppose to have lunch with JH
but he last min got a client appt.
oh well, went lunch with colleage.
am lookin forward to off work.
movies and dinner with JH (:
he very nice lor ! acc me watch it despite he watchin it already.
tml, gonna head out to meet my cousin.
first time watchin movie with my own cousin ! haha !
thurs, outing with JY. shopping for her.
for me ? i guess to window shop :x
Fri, its colleen birthday, gonna have dinner with the girls.
and mayb after that headin to party.
sat, outing with eve and party at night?
sun- i guess i need rest. its gonna be a hectic week.
and for next week. im booked on mon,tues,wed(notconfirm)and fri.
the other day still abit free. so ya. text me if you wanna meet for dinner (:
thats about it ! im gonna enjoy and live my life to the fullest.
even thou, im making myself so busy.
i still misses and think about "you" once in awhile.
i wonder if you do too ? :/

2010-07-21T18:31:00.001+08:00

Hello ! I'm back !
Surprised ?
Me too. I didn't expect myself to get back up on my feet so fast.
I cried so much after mon, got a little sick on tues
Emo for the whole day
And today. When I'm up. I'm feeling so much better.
I guess its due to the words he said.
Since he wanna is bored of me why shd I buried myself in sorrows ?
Anyway. Its not like I'm totally fine now.
I do tend to miss him here and then
But at least I dun cry and make a big fuss of how much I love him.
I was such a bitch. And I admit. :)
Friends were right all along.
I'm not like so old, can't find any other guys mah.
I will meet the right guy. The 1 that is willing to love me with his heart
And obviously never get bored of me :)
And so. Cos of my breakup.
I start getting lotsa sms/calls/msn/msg on fb from frens
From Everywhere ! Hahaha.
I'm so happy. I feel so loved by you babes and dudes!
Thanks for standin by. Calling me to make sure I'm alright.
Lending me your ears to hear me cry. Thanks ! I love you all !
I'm ready to move on and take any challenge that is to stand my way from success !
Its wednesday, got lotsa frens askin me to go clubbing.
But I'm sorry ! No clubbin on weekdays !
I dun wanna be a zombie and commit any mistakes for work.
But fri and sat ! I'm free ! Feel free to ask me to party ;)
This fri. I'm gg to have movies with Jonathan den gg phuture with the girls.
On sat, meeting winnie for movies and zouk for YF's fren birthday.
Hopefully winnie will come too !
Yup. That's a summary for this week !
I will change my blog stuffs soon ! Bear with me for awhile!
Need to start findin pretty photos and all.
Yup. Tahan abit okie ?
And Once again ! Thank you all for supporting me ! :)

2010-07-19T19:01:00.000+08:00

I doubt I would blog sth for the time being.
Its either I will change the link or private my blog.
This blog has too many painful memories.
But at the same time I dun wanna delete it.
So we will see how things goes.
Sms/call me if you care. :)
Or you can just follow me on twitter.
Till I'm prepared to face the world again
Good bye !

2010-07-17T13:05:00.003+08:00

Last night was a blast.
got myself so wasted.
and now im feeling so funny all over. ):
Love makes ppl changed.
and i guess i did changed for you.
I have done my best to make you stay.
but you prefer to move on.
and i hope i can too.
im tryin my best to forget your existent.
telling myself i can find some1 better.
but it seems that everytime i tell myself that.
i would take my EZ-Link card and take a peep at the photos.
The days that we spent together. somehow linger within me.
everywhere i go. it just reminds me of you.
it was happy memories. but it became painful memories now.
I really wonder how you can manage to forget me so easily.
and yes. how you did say you love me today. and say you dun the next day.
fuck! my post have been ultra emo recently.
I miss the happy ME ! ):

2010-07-15T15:32:00.000+08:00

Hello ! Back from KL last night.
Dun really know what to blog.
But I came across bf's fren blog.
She herself just came out from a r/s
And the way she do things make me admire her.
I dunno how tough it is for her. But I am gg thru the worst part.
I nv like break ups.
And now that I have to deal with 1 again.
It just pain me to think of it.
I dun wan a break up. I dun even wan to have all these.
I rather we are quarreling and all. Den have to go thru this.
But this is part of life right ?
Its stupid if I wan to end my life just cos I can't deal with it.
But it often seems like an easy alternative.
Wanna stand back on my feet.
I wanna be the independent person I used to be.
You had given me a relationship that was almost perfect.
So perfect that you just have to end it.
You gave us 6 mths. But I have a feeling you are gg to end it.
I have to take the hard way, and forget you.
So that I won't fall hard when you tell me that 6 mths later.
I nv regret loving you. But I regret trustin you.
Believing that you really want me in your life.
All I have to say is. At times I secretly wish you are still in army.
We mayb quarreling often. But you were strong
Believin in us even when I'm not.
Guess this is the final stage of us.
Thanks for the memory, even if it werent so great.
Your fav song :)
Last but not least.
I LOVE YOU!

2010-07-11T11:00:00.002+08:00

1 last night sleeping with him.
its feels so great despite the distance.
Im praying real hard that the coming week will pass quick.
and mayb he would realise he still loves me.
i doubt he even sees my blog now.
he used to see my blog and all to know my feelings.
but i doubt he bothers now.
I will try to blog often, but phone is always giving me trouble when i log on to blogger.
lets hope things will be back to normal once again.
(finger cross)

2010-07-10T10:02:00.002+08:00

If I do love you, I shd let you go right ?
Im sorry if im hurting you.
I will try my best to move on asap.
Mayb we arent meant for each other.
But honestly speaking. you showed me the love i wanted so much.
and i Thank you for that.
Im just disappointed with myself.
for not treasuring you when you did.
guess the quote "you will only treasure sth when you lose it"
is so... true. ):
I seriously wanna cry out loud now.

2010-07-09T12:17:00.002+08:00

Please tell me wadeva i am doing is worth it,
I am really praying hard to have you back.

2010-07-07T14:50:00.005+08:00

Our First Anniversary meal ♥

Travis Birthday(Overdued photos)

2010-07-07T13:57:00.002+08:00

Its Wednesday.
Gonna head for another interview later on.
Hopefully i get this job.
pay is good (: plus. its a 9am-6pm, 5days week job.
Wanna start to go back to my normal life.
Mayb frens were right.
I shall start being happy.
Slowly returning back to my usual self.
If this is wad you wan. den i shall give it to you.
spent the whole morning looking back at the smses you gave me.
during the "honeymoon" period.
I felt so love. felt as thou i took you for granted.
i guess you wont know how to treasure sth/some1 till you realise its gone.
Oh God, I just hope to be given Strength to go through this again.
haven had such feelings since 1 year plus ago.

2010-07-05T12:11:00.002+08:00

Its Monday. Just went for my interview earlier on.
Got the job, but its like super boring.
doing nth. :/ and the worst thing.
i cant surf net ):
mayb can secretly do so. wahahha :D
hope things will turn out better.
I need to get my life back. i need to stand up again.

A note for you:
375 days since we got together.
I wonder if it means anything to you.
I really dunno what you are thinking. what you are expecting from me.
If there is a chance to go back to the past.
Will you still wanna be with me again ?
Will you still send me those smses ?
Would you still want to be there for me when i was down ?
Would you still want to spend so much time to make this r/s happen ?

2010-07-02T16:46:00.003+08:00

Photos for MY thailand trip (:

you can see more at my fb !

4Days3Nights..

Enjoyed myself so much.. i miss the tomyam already

had so many spicy food when we were there.

couldnt eat alot. but tried all of it.

except for the insects :x

anyway, when we touched down.

Sweetheart's parents said we will be gg to thailand either this mth or next.

cos He and his Dad needs to go thailand to work for 5 days.

Mon-Fri. so His Mum,Sis & Myself.

will be heading to Bkk on the thurs for shopping ! (:

shiokness ! i cant wait....

and den, we mayb headin to langkawi in Sept.

to celebrate Chanel's Birthday. and at the same time. can celebrate mine too :x

thou her birthday is more important ! 21st Birthday.

but everything is not confirm yet.

I love going on holidays with Sweetheart.

He always cares and look out for me.

making me feel that he cares for me alot too. which is sth good. (:

I hope things will turn out better !

JIA YOU TRINA !!!

2010-06-25T18:49:00.002+08:00

ok. 1 last post before i head to bkk. (:
but if im able to get wifi in the hotel. i will try to blog sth.
got to wake up at 3.45am as we will be leaving the hse at 4am.
having breakfast with the gang ! <3
anyway, im putting so much hope onto this trip.
every1 told me. an overseas trip usually stregthen your r/s
and im kindda glad. the time is just nice.
before his love for me decrease. gonna shower him lotsa love.
I nv imagined i would fall so deep for him.
he meant so much to me. so much till i cant give him up just like that.
so yup. i hope he will be touched by my actions (:
Did a card for him and even bought him the couple HP strap.
( cos i quarrelled with him and den broke his :x )
This trip means alot to me. and i dun wanna screw things up. *cross fingers*

2010-06-24T14:01:00.003+08:00

I dunno how i shd do things now.
by holding him tightly, im afraid he would leave me cos im suffocating him.
if i let him have the freedom he wants, im afraid he will leave me cos he finds some1 else.
can some1 tell me what i shd do ?
I dun used to hold him so tight. but den, things happened.
and i changed. cos im afraid. i love him.
at this moment of time. i dunno what to do/dont do.
1 year ago, i told myself i have to pull it through with him till he ord.
but now.. i really wish to turn back time.
and start everything again.
i wanna save this r/s but i dunno what i can do.
suggestions from frens are :
fight for wad you want.( i want to, but how ?)
find some1 else i deserve some1 better.(why would i want to find some1 better ? when i feel happy being with him ?)
give him what he wants.( i want to. but can you understand my fear ?)
if he is yours, he will come back to you. ( and what if cos i dun care, that makes him not come back ?)
stay strong/ be strong ( i am tryin, but the thought of it just breaks me apart)
some1 else love me more den he does ( i am happy beign with him. i wan no1 else.)
but whatever it is. im willing to fight for this.
its my happiness, and i dun wanna lose it.

2010-06-23T21:14:00.001+08:00

I dunno how you can just act as thou nth happened.
I feel so miserable. I dunno what to do.
This feeling I thought I will nv need to experience it again
But I was wrong. 3 days before our 1st anniversary you told me those words.
I feel so so terrible.
I have so many questions in my mind..
How come the truth always hurt so much ?
Can we actually make things better again ?
Are you able to accept my flaws ? And vice versa ?
I depended so much on you. We started off being such a lovely couple.
And now, I'm confused.
I dunno what I shd do anymore. I really wanna try.
But I dunno how. I doubt I can be myself anymore.
Will you please love me like you did ?

2010-06-21T14:51:00.003+08:00

Its Monday again :/
Weekends seem to pass real quick.
guess fun times always end fast.
5 more days and i will be on the plane to BKK.
i am looking forward to this exciting trip.
I hope this would be a memorable trip.
Im expecting the worst to happen after this.
I hope my feelings are wrong.
but somehow, it always turn out right.
I just wish to keep all happy memories, and if we do leave each other.
Memories is the best gift you have given me.
Been really paranoid and sensitive towards everything recently.
kindda realise lotsa things have been changed.
you dun seem to be like last time.
I keep telling myself cos you are busy with work.
and by de time you get home, you are tired.
you have been trying to assure me you do still LOVE me.
and i know you do. just dunno when will de day be when you stop.
I hope it wont. but den who knows wad will happen in future.
its also our First Anniversary.
im expecting sth frm you.
thou i know it couldnt happen. but after that night 6 mths back.
i wished it would happen again. oh god !

*I will wait for you till you finish school.
Our R/S started on a rocky path. Guess it will end up better ?
Lets hope so.

2010-06-16T09:16:00.002+08:00

Lack of updates and all.
I haven been home for like a week ++
Mon- went for interview in the afternoon.
and den headed to Woodlands to find Christina.
prepared and all.
Bus-ed to Vivo. it was a 1 hr 30 mins ride.
my butt hurts like hell.
met Sweetheart & Benedict.
had Carl's Jr for dinner
went to get Travis's Birthday Pressy.
den Sweetheart drove us back.
watched Prince of Persia. and i totally dun understand de movie.
after awhile. went home to get clothes. and slept.
Tue- Christina came over to Sweetheart's place
cos she was stuck outside class.
headed to town to get my Chanel Necklace fixed.
will only be done in 1 week or 2 weeks time. ):
did a little shopping.
GSS ! there isnt much stuffs. didnt see anything that attracts me also.
train-ed home. and had dinner at KFC in JP with the Tai Family.
Wed- I wanna just do nth, but send resume and watch my Gossip Girls.
keep sayin i wanna watch but till now.
I still haven watch ):
Weekends for this week and next will be packed !
Fri(18/06)-Lunched with the Tai family at Mandarin hotel (not confirm)
I cant rmb wad we were suppose to do for the night.
Sat(19/06)- Travis's First Birthday at Downtown.
Clubbing after that.
Sun(20/06)- we shd be resting. too many activities le.
Father's day dinner with the Tai family ?
Fri(25/06)- Celebration of Our Anniversary.
Sat(26/06)- BKK till 29th !

I pray God will let my plans flow properly, and den i wont spoil any of it. (: